I called my mum yesterday. It's been two weeks since my very brief call to her. I find it hard to pick up the phone to pretend to be cheerful. I don't want to worry mum with my problems as it won't do her any good. She is too far away to do anything and it would break her heart to see any of her children unhappy.
All my life, my mum has been my inspiration to continue with my battles. I talk to her and she would give me the courage to carry on. I don't think mum could help me this time. But I certainly need a hug from her now.
I cried awhile ago when I was writing the first two paragraphs and it certainly was a relief. Alex heard my crying and ran to me. He pulled my hand away from my face and gave me a hug. It's like he knows mummy is in pain, not physically but mentally and emotionally. I have been trying to be strong for the past month and it's good to release once in awhile. If I continue to be strong, I will be in denial.