I'm not helpless ... I'm just smart

We were told that children with autism have learning difficulty but do they really? My guess is ... they do in some respect but not all. In fact, I think they can be very smart and manipulative if you allow them to be. Unlike neuro typical children, they can get away with almost anything because they led us to believe they are helpless and you cannot help wanting to protect them and do almost anything for them.

I said almost is because ... my Alex can be a pain in the backside at times but I can be the proudest mother when I take him out. He is almost a perfect child in the old days where children are meant to be seen and not heard. Well, only if his needs are met ... that is. He has no reason to misbehave because if he has food ... he is happy.

Now, the reason I said Alex has no learning difficulty is because ...

1) I was upstairs busy doing (something) and Alex called me for help. I told him I'm busy and ask him to do it himself. Fifteen minutes later, I came down to the lounge to find an empty carton of apple juice on the table. He inserted the straw into the carton and finished his drink. Normally, he would take the carton and give it to me and said "Mama help ... I can't".

2) His dad was in the garden and I was on my computer (as usual) Alex wanted to go to the garden and be with his dad. He said he wanted to go to the garden and I said go get your shoes, what seem like seconds later, I saw him in the garden with his shoes on. I asked Jem if he put the shoes on for him and he said he didn't. Alex put his shoes on and velcro them properly ... the only thing wrong with this ... he had the shoes on the wrong feet. Again, we were fooled by our child that he cannot put his own shoes on.

Moral of the story ... if a child wanted something bad enough, they can do almost anything. I have to really start letting my son grow and stop thinking he is helpless and has learning difficulties.

Well ... he does have learning difficulties when it comes to holding a pencil and using a scissors. We may think it's easy to hold a pencil and write or cut with a scissors but to Alex, we have to break down the movement and help him to combine the movement to make something. He can hold a pencil but he can't write. He doesn't have the strength or the grip to write. He can hold the scissors but again, he don't have the strength to push the scissors with the back of this thumb. Watching him do these simple things, I felt like I had to hold my breathe to urge him on.

I observed and learn some technique from the Occupational Therapist and will try to practice them with Alex. Sadly, his sessions come to an end next week and will pass on to the OT at his new school. Sam, his OT is great with him and she was really impressed with the things Alex could do. Alex has very good body awareness and can balance on a balance beam and ball without help. I think he learn that from walking on my back when I needed a massage - ha ha ha.

Who says I have no imagination?

Mummy don't feel alright.

For some reason, my son let me sleep till 8:00 this morning. He was very quiet ...

I was aware that he came into my room a few times and check on me. When I heard him came in and then out again, I realised it was late. I made a big yawn and I heard little footsteps ran up the stairs.

He gave me a big hug like usual and then he said "Mama don't feel alright". He opened my mouth and said, "mama teeth hurt" and put his fingers into my sewer mouth (ewwwwwwe) I guess he loves his mummy too much to mind.

He then said "be right back ... I go go get medsen at Tesco Warfield" a few moments later he came back and said "oh oh medsen out" I go go new Tesco and this continued with out of stock and going into Tesco Reading, Camberley etc.

I got tired of the game and said "Wow ... Mummy's OK now. He said " no no mummy tummy hurt and mummy need baha (his word for breakfast) he came back dragging a big box filled with toys and said it's food.

I thought this day never come. It's a bit delayed but it sure felt good!

The closet singer

Sitting on my bed reading my novel, I heard Alex strumming his guitar and singing "apologize" by Timbaland in the room next door. Admiring my son's singing, I have the urge to give him a hug. Trying to be as quiet as I could, my floorboard betrayed me. As soon as he heard me getting off bed ... he stopped playing and was very quiet.

I found him hiding under the table with his guitar and a few cushions - he made a nest. He hid his face in the cushion when I walked in ... as if he's embarassed. When I asked him to play me a song, he just strummed the guitar (out of tune, of course) and no singing. I said, can you sing apologize again? His replied ... "I can't!"

Alex's speech is getting better and better each day. The words he uses amazes me sometimes and he has been saying a lot of "maybe tomorrow ..." I doubt he understood what he meant by that ... but then again, Alex surprises me a lot.

Last week, he said "Awww ... Not fair" when I said no to him. I can't remember what but when he said that, I laughed my socks off. It's little things like that that made my day.

In December 2007, Dr Irani said he will talk one day, we could only hope he is right. That day came but seemed like a long long time. I never lose hope, I just got really patient.