I was listening to this song and found the lyrics beautifully written.

There is at least one man out there who appreciates a stay at home mum. Watch this video and read the lyrics. Enjoy!




Lost my job, came home mad
Got a hug and kiss and that's too bad
She said I can go to work until you find another job
I thought I like the sound of that
Watch TV and take long naps
Go from a hand working dad to being
Mr. Mom

Well
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the fifteenth time
Breakfast, six naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom

Football, soccer and ballet
Squeeze in Scouts and PTA
And there's that shopping list she left
That's seven pages long
How much smoke can one stove make
The kids won't eat my charcoal cake
It's more than any maid can take
Being Mr. Mom

Well
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the sixteenth time
Breakfast, six naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr.Mom

Before I fall in bed tonight
If the dog didn't eat the classifieds
I'm gonna look just one more time'

Cause
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the eighteenth time
Breakfast, six naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long
Oh been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr.Mom

Balancin' checkbooks, juggling bills
Thought there was nothing to it
Baby, now I know how you feel
What I don't know is how you do it

I must share this with everyone.

Jeremy's mum went to her hospital appointment today. This is a follow-up visit to her last meeting with the consultant about her tumour.

The tumour shrank again and they had a hard time finding it. Yeah .... the medication worked and we are just so happy for her.

It shows that when you stay positive, good things happens.

She is one remarkable lady, I haven't heard her whine nor feel sorry for herself. She took it well and got on with her life like usual.

She is one great example.

It's not as easy as it seemed.

We went to see Rainbow Resources Centre today. I have a good feeling about the place but, (there is always a but) they don't have an opening for Alex's age group at the moment. They are full and the maximum number of children they can take each session is four.

There is a waiting list and even if we decide to put Alex in, he will still need a recommendation from TASS stating that he is a potential candidate for a place. OK, if TASS submit a recommendation, Alex will still have to wait to be placed. This can only happen when a child leaves and if no one goes, he may not be able to get into Rainbow by five years old.

So, it looks like he will remain in his nursery until he is ready for Reception class in January 2009. It would be expensive but we are quite happy with where he is and everyone loves him there.

It's still too early to decide as we still need to visit Kennel Lane next week. Having said that, I have made up my mind more or less - I don't think Kennel Lane is for Alex but then again, I haven't seen the place and rejecting it without giving it a chance would deprive my son of an opportunity.

It's not easy to be a parent and it is even harder to be one with a special need child or a gifted one. The decision you make will affect the future of your child.

We are quite lucky to live in Bracknell Forest Borough. They give children a good start - you wouldn't know this unless you have a child and when you start visiting schools, you know what you get out from your taxes.

I am forever grateful to the people that has been helping Alex.

I have discovered Country music.

It's amazing how Country music changed over the years but one thing that never ever change was the story it tells. It's real and it touches your heart.

I am listening to Lone Star at the moment and I am in love with "I'm already there". Every time I hear the song, it makes me cry. It also makes me think of the relationship I didn't have with my father.

I am sad to say that I don't know anything about my father. What's his favourite colour? What's his dream? What he thinks of me? I don't remember ever having the opportunity to sit in the same room with him talking about him and nothing else.

At some point, we lose our parents and when we sit down to think about them, what would I think of my father? What if Alex were to ask me "What is grandad like?"

Darn those country music lyrics, it makes you think of things you don't.

I should get to know my father, that's what I am going to do.

Autumn is my favourite season of the year.

The colours of nature makes you think how wonderful life really is. It is also the time of the year when I get pretty sick .... yes and it always does especially close to a month before my next birthday.

I am coughing my guts out again ..... I know ..... it's not fair especially after last week's episode of dodgy tummy!

Alex is also coughing and he is one hardy child. To be fair, he does whine a bit now and then but as a whole, I am ever so proud of him. His appetite returned .... after a whole week of feasting on water and nothing else. He asked for his cereal over the weekend - finished his share and then has this habit of eating our breakfast as well. An hour later, he would go to the larder and ask for his snack - normally a pack of crisp or little gems. Then, he goes to the fruit bowl and ask for an apple or an orange. I would, of course oblige - nothing makes a mother happier than seeing her child eat.

He is starting to talk a bit now, can't really understand much but we could get the gist of what he wants. He would say, "out there" (which could also mean up there) - he would push me to the hall way and then point which direction he wants me to go. When he wants to go somewhere, he would say "car" or if we are out and about, and he wants to leave - he would say "car".

Neel from TASS came today and did some role/pretend play with Alex. From the exercises, she could determine at what stage his speech and language is at and his understanding of instructions (setting a task by giving him two pieces of information) - for example, give baby his bottle - he will have to get baby from the box and feed the baby with the bottle.

His speech is at 18 months level but his language/understanding is at 24 months. Children with ASD will have developmental delay in some areas especially pretend play and excel in others. Although, delayed - this is a really good sign as she believes that Alex could blend into mainstream education.

There are certain things that we know he could do but he wouldn't do it for Neel. She is preparing his statement and could only put in what she sees and not from what we say. To be fair, it makes sense and I have no problem with that.

We will be visiting Rainbow Resources Centre tomorrow and I have more or less made up my mind with what we intend to do with Alex's education. We heard a lot of good things about the place and we really hope that they will take Alex. Rainbow will only take a child for not more than six terms (about 2 years) but during these times, children with developmental delay gets a lot out of the resource centre. I can only give more information until we see the centre tomorrow.

Can't help myself with this new software and I think it's fantastic. It came with the laptop with 21 days trial period. Rather than the normal boring album, a little music makes it more enjoyable. For those wondering what the software is, it's Muvee Producer 6.0, so easy - just add photo or video and music. Press create muvee and 1 minute later, a music video.

Thought I'll share this music video of Alex with you.

There's a new BUG in town this winter.

Alex and I haven't been well since Monday with loss of appetite and diarrhea. Went to the doctors twice and was told that there is nothing they can give us as it's a viral infection.

Alex hasn't been eating since Monday. I am very worried but three different GPs told us that it's OK for a toddler to go off food for up to two weeks as long as we feed him plenty of liquid. He is not dehydrated and I know he is hungry but just couldn't find the appetite to eat.

I was the same until yesterday when I got so fed up that I ordered Chicken Vindaloos to take the blandness out of my tongue. Big Mistake! I had massive diarrhea and a firee arse (mind my French .... opps). My stomach churned and growl all night but miraculously, my diarrhea stopped this morning, I had my appetite back but still suffering with a sensitive you know where. That's the price you pay for being bold - ha ha ha

Alex wanted cereal this morning and obviously I was over the moon. Gave him half the portion he normally takes and then when he saw me eating my toasted pita bread, he wanted some as well. Wow, I can't believe my luck that he wanted food!

Two hours later, it all came out again and this time from the top end. All over my couch, my jeans and my t-shirt (eweeeeeeeeeeeee).

It's about 2:15pm now and he hasn't done a number two yet which is a good sign. He ate two spoons of fried rice and some cheerios earlier. So far so good and I am keeping my fingers crossed.

An indescribable day.

The morning started with me feeling like a complete B*tch!

Jem's been having back pain since having chest infection almost four weeks now. The cough caused a trapped nerve and yesterday, he felt a sharp pain shooting down his left leg. He has been sitting quite a bit and laid off carrying heavy stuff. Of course resting is necessary but he has done that for almost ten days since we return.

This morning, I told him to get up and walk about and do something. The last thing you want to do is feel sorry for yourself and the condition would be worst. The GP did say that without medication, the pain would go by itself in six weeks and Jem's tried every possible pain killer available and none worked. I even bought him a TENS machine and even that didn't work.

Perhaps it has something to do with the way we think. I always believe in PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and if I could help it, I won't take pain killers and if bed rest is really necessary, I will not stay in bed longer than a day. When you don't do anything, your mind can only concentrate on the pain and that exaggerates the situation.

Jem wasn't very happy at first and that made me feel really bad. After thinking for a bit, he agreed with me and we decided to go out for a little Sunday shopping.

We went to Costco in Reading. It was crowded and Alex was not happy at first but we managed to persuade him to continue shopping for another hour.

All that walking and I didn't hear a single complain about the pain. Do you think it worked or he just didn't want to say anything? I didn't ask for fear that I might remind him of his problem.

We then went for lunch at Pizza hut and then to PC World. As we left PC World, a black man suddenly walked in front of my car and I braked for our lives. Jeez ..... my heart almost touched the floorboard! I didn't see him at all - he was dressed in a black jacket. Visibility is bad when the sky is cloudy and almost dark. Anyway, Jem tried to calm me down and made a joke "he should have smiled". I didn't get the joke and gave him a weird look and he said "you know? Smile .... White teeth?" I could not stop laughing and I told him it's a bad joke but it did made me feel better.

So, how do one describe my day?

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr it's freezing!

It's zero degree Celsius out there this morning. My car was totally covered with ice - wished I didn't have to go out but Alex needs to get to his nursery on time. Took me 10 minutes to scrape the ice off the windscreen and two frozen hands.

As I was about to take Alex into his class, one of his classmate shouted "Alex is back!" - they seem pleased to see him. This is not his first day back but not all the children goes to nursery everyday. He went in on Monday for replacement session because we missed three weeks and he was so happy to see the entrance of his nursery that he literally ran into his class ;-)

Yesterday, I was told that he won't stop hugging one of the girls. Everyone thought it was so cute and they even showed me who the girl was. Her name's Abby and she is blonde with short hair and very pretty. The carer asked Abby if she like Alex and she said "I love Alex". I can't help smiling and everyone missed Alex.

Since returning from America, we saw a big difference in Alex. He is more social (not that he wasn't before), but something is different. He is taller, he tells us what he wants better, sometimes in words that we don't really understand but we could understand eventually and he plays in his room more than before. Maybe because he saw Joshua playing in his room and he wants to be like his cousin.

He even helped me to make sandwich the other day. I was making tuna filling and asked Alex to help me. I passed the ingredients to him and asked him to put on the counter and he did as asked. After that, he stood on his stool and waited for instruction ... I asked him to pass the mayonnaise and then the lemon, He passed the mayo and then sniffed the lemon and gave it to me. What an achievement! I know ... many of you will think that this is simple instruction and any three year old can do this but to us ... it's a big deal.

Alex can't process two piece of information at the same time. His developmental stage is at 18 to 20 months but I guess he has grown quite a bit. Neel from TASS came on Tuesday and was really pleased with his progress. She brought an associate to work with Alex (not to be rude but I can't remember her name) and Alex got along real well with her. He played tricks on her and Neel said that this is really good. We should continue doing what we did with him .... (I scratched my head, what did we do differently with him?) All we did was give him all the love in the world and made sure he knows it.

Lots of hugs and sloppy kisses and laughter.

I have been having strange dreams every night since we returned.

People from my past like bosses I have not seen for years and friends playing lead role in my strange dreams. There is nothing that I seen or heard that relate to them but somehow, my brain decides to include them in my sleep.

I don't remember having dreams when I was in Tallahassee and for those eighteen days we were there, I had the most rest. Alex slept through the night next to us which means I get my sleep.

Upon returning, he is back to his old tricks, waking me up at five in the morning, hijacked my bed and back to sleep while I ...... well wonder off to do my stuff knowing that it's a lost battle to get my bed back. I don't think his biological clock is back to normal as someday he sleeps longer during his nap and then going to bed at 12:30am (put him to bed at 10:00 and sat with him for two and a half hours till he goes off). On other days, he skipped his nap time and goes to sleep at about 7:00pm and then wake up at 11:00pm - played for an hour or so before he goes back to sleep at about 12:30am.

You can imagine how tired I have been that I had to nap for three hours yesterday afternoon. It is very unusual for me to nap in the afternoon unless I am not well. True enough, I wasn't well and you don't want the details.

My mother in law asked me the other day when we visited, "What would you like for your birthday, Christine?" I said, "Nothing" but if I was asked what I would wish for .......

BINGO ...... SLEEP!

We came back to a beautiful autumnal England.

It took some used to after three weeks in America (seemed like a lifetime). The first obvious difference was the temperature, the fresh air hit us as we left the terminal. The second thing was how small our car was. I always thought that my Ford C-Max was a big car and after driving the Toyota Highlander in US for three weeks, my car felt like a mini (ha haha). The very very obvious one was how small the roads are in England. There were no roundabouts in Tallahassee, it's so easy to get back on track if you get lost as you can always turn back the next block and oh yes, you can U-turn in most places and turn right even when the lights are red.

It's nice to be home and we can't help admiring the beautiful colours on our way home. Once again England makes me feel all warm (not literally) and toastie inside. England has this special place in my heart and maybe that is why I chose to stay on despite my failed marriage. I could always go back to my parents but I chose England. I don't know what made us decide to emigrate in the first place but sometimes, going away from your comfort zone can put you back on track. We all loved Tallahassee and we definitely would like to live there one day but now is not the time. Perhaps when England is too cold for our old bones, we may consider to move to a milder place like Florida.

Alex cope extremely well. He turned into a starving monster all of a sudden. We have been worried about him because he hasn't eaten much and lost quite a bit of weight. As soon as we got home, he wanted a bowl of noodles, then he had fried rice and then more snacks. He has been snacking none stop since we got home. Strange - I did offered him noodles and rice in America but he just won't touch it and his only staple was french fries. Very strange boy I tell ya!

Jem is still coughing is lungs off and his back is killing him due to the strain of coughing. He went to see the GP on Friday and was told that he had a chest infection. He was prescribed antibiotics and plenty of rest.

As for me, I missed my sister. It is so strange ...... we didn't talk much while we were there but I have so much to share with her. One part of me felt sad because we couldn't talk like we used to but another part of me understood the reason. It is so much easier to talk on the phone or to share my feelings in my blog but when we were together, we felt like strangers.

Maybe it's me, something changed since Alex's diagnosis. I so wanted to feel that something good could come out of his Autism. Perhaps he is gifted in someway or anything that could make him better than ordinary. I felt that my sister did not feel the same as I do .... maybe she felt that it's best to convince me that Alex is like any normal child.

I have to live with this fact that my son is never going to be normal - that's why, if there is a glimpse of hope that my son is extraordinary, I will embrace it with open arms. I do not know how to explain this to her and I felt that she was judging me. I felt small when I am around her - although she is the youngest in the family, she is one of the most courageous siblings, her children are gifted, she could juggle so many things at the same time and to me, she is one "superwoman"and I admire that.

We had one exchange in the car while I was there and we were talking about Alex being able to recognise the route to places and as far as I know from the people I spoke to, children his age cannot do that and that it's one of those extraordinary thing an autistic child could do. She turned to me and said that Erin could do that when she was two and all children could do that. All of a sudden, I could feel tears rolling down my cheek and she said something along the line that why do I label my son or something. I felt that I was being judged and that I should not treat my son differently - I don't blame her because no one could understand.

I cannot run away from the fact that my son is different, I cannot ignore that he is not ordinary, we have to live with the fact that there is no cure for ASD and I can only hope that something good came out of this.

Although I am not religious but I believe that there is a GOD and that everything happened for a reason. The end result is always a good one depending on how you see it but I truly want to believe that there is something to be learned here.

With great intention, sometimes it's hard to understand another person with a problem you don't have. To a person with a problem, they always felt small even though they put a brave face on.

Spend ... spend .... spend!

Slightly more than $2.00 to a pound. Both Jeremy and I are taking this opportunity to buy a whole new wardrobe. It's also sale season in Tallahassee and the biggest sale ever is this coming Saturday at JC Penney.

Adrinna baby sat for us yesterday and we are just so grateful. We went shopping at Governor Square and bought branded stuff at bargain prices plus with the currency exchange rate, it's about half the price in UK. Jeremy bought some Ralph Lauren shirts and I bought a handbag - not telling what brand but it's good (wink wink). There were so many to choose but Jeremy said I am only allowed one - it's quite true what he said ... I have a cupboard full of handbags and I always used the same ones.

Alex is very happy here. He loves his cousins and it's heart warming to see them together.

Last Wednesday was Halloween and it's Alex's first time Trick or Treating. He was Superman but for some reason, his costume is maroon and dark blue instead of red and blue. When I bought the costume from the store, it didn't occur to me that the colours were different but anyway, it was dark when they went out and no one could tell the difference ;-)

The kids came back with loads of candies and it could last them a year if they were to eat them sensibly. Alex had only an eighth of what they had because he didn't finish the round. We took him home and off to bed early because he missed his nap time in the afternoon. We took him to the movies in the morning to see "Ratatouille" (I think that's how it's spelt but I might be wrong) and then went lunch and shopping. What were we thinking? Stressing our son? But, we had a productive day ...... (he he he) We would not dream of doing this back home but what the heck? We are on holiday!

Anyway, this week has been a good week for us. Great news from my father-in-law about my mother-in-law's cancer - the tumour decreased by 1/3 and the Consultant was really pleased with the result. She will continue with her treatment for another month and then another test. We are just so happy!

The not so good news is .... the NAS Early Bird programme that supposedly happening in November is now in January 2008. Don't really know why but it works for us because we would have missed the first two sessions. So, in a way .... it is also a good thing.

Well, I am off to sleep again and then later to the Spa for massage with Adrinna. We haven't really been spending time together as she has been way too busy but as long as she is happy, I am happy for her.