It's official.

Months of waiting and we know what is coming but it's still difficult to hear it from the horses' mouth.

Jeremy and I went to the End of Assessment Care Plan meeting this afternoon. We left Alex home with Jeremy's parents - baby sitting for us while we went to this life changing meeting.

Last week's report from Dr. Irani summarised his diagnosis and both Jeremy and I have prepared ourselves for the worst. Somehow, something inside me refused to accept the diagnosis. I see what I wanted to see and the reports from the other Assessors came last Friday. I deliberately not share them with everyone reading my blog because I so wanted this meeting that we went this afternoon to say otherwise.

Since the beginning of his assessment five weeks ago, Alex showed us that he can do more than we thought he could. Obviously the reports were four to five weeks old and things changed but some symptoms remained. I brought this up in the meeting but the final diagnosis is still ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). I could feel a lump in my throat and my voice quivered when I spoke - I guessed they have seen it all. My denial ......

No matter how prepared you are - the truth always find a way to reveal your true insecurities, fear and disappointments.

Well, at least we know that it's not our fault or anything we did or did not. A diagnosis is better than no diagnosis. Because, now we get all the help needed to pave a future for Alex.

We were instantly given a directory for support groups, a list of programs and activities for Alex and us, as parents to attend. A three months course for parents organised by the National Autistic Society - giving us information and ways to deal with Autism. We will be very very busy for the next twelve months because the sooner we start, the better it is for Alex. He will be able to attend mainstream school by September 08.

In a way it's a blessing in disguised that Alex have no language. It brought the motion to assess him and now we get all the support needed. Although, a label is not ideal - but, it opened a lot of doors for him. Should he not been diagnosed, we will still be in Limbo - no where to turn to and may cost us dearly for the missed opportunities.

From today, a new journey for us as a family - we will be more tolerant and try to see things thru our son's eyes.