Firemen ....... something about men in uniform.

Alex and I had a fun day out (more like mummy had a fun day) yesterday. We went to Slough Fire Station to have our car washed. My friend, Gaynor's husband Steve works there and they have organised a Charity Car Wash with the proceeds to National Autistic Society.

"I drove 20 miles to have my car washed" I told Gaynor "and this better be good." She laughed and show me where to go. There were quite a few cars there going through a manual car wash system (he he he). When you drive thru ... the first thing is a FIREMAN with a small hose washing the car down and then drive to the next part ... more FIREMEN ... at least 6 of them shampooing the car and rub down the tyres. Next, another FIREMAN with a BIG HOSE washing off the soap and suds. Finally, get the car dried up by another FIREMAN. 

I am feeling hot just writing this (he he he) and it was quite an experience. Well, of course writing this is all a joke as no one is as good looking as my dearly beloved (gagging ... I know ... just in case he is reading this).

After the car wash, I asked Gaynor if Alex could have a ride on the fire engine and she shouted for Steve to take us for a tour. Alex went onto the truck and Steve let him wear his helmet. It was all fun but Alex was a bit scared of the height and kept calling for me. We left the fire station and went to see Grandpa and Grandma, 5 miles away in Langley.

Alex hummed Fireman Sam tune all morning since I told him that we were going to a fire station. When we drove past our local fire station, he asked "Ma ma?". I had to tell him that we are going to another one and he then sat quietly and enjoyed the journey. 

Alex has a very good understanding of everything and is very observant. Nothing passes him without him acknowledging them. Jeremy and his father, Peter are worried that Alex may not talk as they can't see how. His grandmother and me on the other hand, are not worried and know that he will eventually talk. Men have no patience.

I still haven't heard from Rainbow if Alex is moving to the morning class. If he does, he will be with Holly, Joseph and Callum (all his friends).

Things are once again back to normal.

Alex is settling in well at Rainbow. He comes back with a report from school everyday informing us of his activities for the day. He has been very vocal and learning to write numbers and letters. This week's number and letter are '1' and 'S'. 

My friends' children Lia and Tomas joined Rainbow on Monday. I haven't had a chance to speak to them yet but I think Rainbow will help them as much as it helped us.

Now that Alex is settling in well, I am itching to do something with my free time. Last week, I went to a Franchise Show in Reading and found one really interesting business. The set up cost is low but there is a monthly fee to pay irregardless if you make money or not.

I know I can make it if I am prepared to put time and effort into the business, but something has to give and I am not prepared to sacrifice the time with my family. My priorities have changed and I know my sisters will say that I am mad. Why on earth would I not want to make more money when I have the opportunity?

I have done the putting all my time in making money and I have also made some money during those days. Having money and no time for your love ones? Is it really worth it? 

Things happen for a reason and there will always be something else that may eventually be right for us. I know what my priorities are and just have find something that will work around them.

School's finally back .... YIPPEE!!!

Haven't been able to update my blog because of the school holidays. It's a total shock for me, Jeremy and Alex .... six weeks is way too long. All routines down the drain and my housework piled up to my neck.

Yesterday was the first day of school and the three hours that we have without Alex was mainly spent on ironing and clearing the garage. We could not get anything done with Alex around as he demand for our attention - constantly. I do not like the idea of putting him in front of the TV all day but sometimes, things need doing and it's not that easy.

Anyway, back to normal and I hope to be able to update my blog regularly.

The teachers told me that they may want to change Alex to the morning session and that is a very good idea. I could structure his day better with this new arrangement if they decide to go ahead. I miss taking Alex to Legoland and if he is back to the morning session, I could take him to Legoland after school.

Alex has been saying a lot of  "Air Con Duct" lately. A new word for him which he use quite often.

The stairs and escalators has been a problem for Alex lately. It all started two weeks ago, when he first refused to go on the escalator at IKEA. Then when he got home, he refused to go up the stairs. He cried - massive tantrum and insist that we carry him. It's putting a lot of strain on our back and we cannot keep carrying him when he want us to. 

It's not always a problem for him ... yesterday, he went up and down the stairs no problem but then this morning, his phobia came back. I don't know if he is trying it on us or he is really scared of the stairs but we have to ride this through.

Kids .... it's one thing after another.

Is he clever or all four year-old do it?

We do not have any other four year-old to compare to but as parents, we always think our children are better than others. 

As usual, Alex the Gannet has been searching around for snack. I gave him a pack of chocolate biscuit in the box. Normally, I would pour the contents into a bowl. This time I decided to let him try eating from the box. The opening was a bit small and I know he would struggle. I just let things be.

A moment later, I heard him running to the kitchen and searching for something. I went to the kitchen and saw .........

Alex trying to pour the content into a bowl ...... what a clever boy!

So, is he clever or just like any four year-old? Either way, I am ecstatic!

Eeyore at home.

We have a donkey at home and his name is Alex. Every time we say "No" or "Wait", Alex will make this sound "Hee Haw ... Hee Haw". We can't help but laugh.  

School holidays is driving us mad especially me. Feel really bad when I put him in front of the television. We go out as much as we could but I am running out of places to take him. Everything cost money and it's hard to justify spending any. 

Food prices are getting higher despite the supermarkets "lowering" their prices. Things that we normally buy don't go down as we eat lots of fresh cooked food. I could see reductions in ready meals, canned food or supermarket own brand items but they are not the things that we eat or buy.

Two weeks to Autumn term and will be celebrating when Alex goes back to school.

Be prepared.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about Alex's future. How my son can learn to be independent, self sufficient and be a responsible person. I found the answer ... or least for now.

I want him to join the Scouts when he is old enough but wasn't sure if the scouts would accept children with ASD. Deep down, I know Alex will learn life skills, make friends and many more if they do accept him. I decided to find out more.

I googled for "Scouts for Autistic" and surprised to find an article by the Scouting magazine from America and other Scouts organisation websites. I read the article and yes, my instinct hasn't failed me.

This article confirmed everything I believe, http://www.scoutingmagazine.org/issues/0609/a-boys.html and I decided to write an email to the Scouts in my area to find out if they will accept Alex when he turns six.

30 minutes later, I had an email from the Scouts and it read:

Hi Christine,

I need to know a bit more before I can assist you.

I need to know what area you are from as there are many Scout Groups around, some do take special needs children and others don't, this can be for a very wide variety of reasons ( see below for an idea ) that would need to be considered / taken into account when your son is old enough to join at six years old.

To give you an idea of reasons mentioned above.
Size of Beaver Colony ( how many members ).
Number of leaders / adults.
How many other special needs children already in the Colony.
Leaders views and expertise in working with special needs children.
Past experience with special needs children.
Your sons specific special needs.

The list would probably go on but don't let this put you off.

Could you please let me know the following and I can work from there

Sons name
Date of birth
Address inc postcode
School ( intended )

Hope this helps.

I replied with all the details required plus a little bit more about Alex being high functioning.

When I checked my email this morning, a reply in my Inbox almost brought tears to my eyes, tears of joy and appreciation.

Yes! Alex will be accepted if we decide to go ahead. I spoke to Jeremy when he came back this morning and I replied with our decision.

As it's not well publicised that the Scouts accepts children with special needs, many parents are not aware of this. It would be good for children with Special Needs to participate in mainstream activities and have a balance in their life.

Parents are often afraid that their children will be excluded in mainstream activities, hence they put their children in special camps for special needs. I am not saying it's a bad thing but children have to learn to adapt in real society and learning young would be an advantage.

We are not always there to hold their hands. Sometimes they fall, they have to learn to stand up and keep going.

The Messenger in making.

Alex is not always a "pain in the butt". He is one extremely helpful boy and a clever one too.

I took him to Sainsburys yesterday for weekly shopping and he was very good all the way till the end until he saw the checkout. I had to turn into one last aisle by the checkout for air fresheners and this boy is like "a dog with a bone", he just won't stop .... going on and on about getting into the car.

Anyway, we got home. I unloaded the shopping bags from the car and left them in the hallway when Alex decided to help me take them to the kitchen. He dragged them (very heavy) along the hall and into the kitchen. He gave me the sweetest smile when I said thank you.

He helped me unpacked and then put them away into places he can reach. Not much later, I heard him in the bathroom upstairs and I went to check what the commotion's about.

My boy looked at me and smiled, he said "Ma ma" and pointed at the counter. He put his Dad's shaving gel he found in the shopping bags next to the old one.

What a smart boy!

This morning, while Jeremy's in the toilet doing .... his No.2. He shouted "I can't find a pencil .... I want to do my Sudoku". I was still in bed and called for Alex. "Take this to Daddy" giving him a pencil. He took the pencil to his Dad in the toilet.

Yeah ... looks like I have a little slave now - he he he

A Gannet at home.

Alex has been eating non-stop and I wonder what next.

The weather is not getting any better and I ran out of outdoor places to take him. I don't really want to take him to indoor playgrounds because of his fear of noise, echo and my fear of him getting something from other kids.

He is very much home bound these few days and he eats because he is bored. He still watch Bob the Builder and he still comes to me (what seemed like every 5 minutes) for snacks. It's one thing after the other and I am getting weaker by the minute.

He still goes to bed at six-ish and wakes at 5:00 in the morning. And this time, he wants me to be awake too. I am totally lacked of sleep. I have no will to live ..... ha ha ha

I just hope school starts tomorrow!

Friends of EarlyBird

I set up a group for families who have attended the NAS EarlyBird Programme about two months ago. We meet on Fridays every two weeks.

Last Friday, we had a great turn out, a new family joined us for the first time. Cara* and her husband Brian* and their three sons, all autistic. (as I am not familiar with them, I have changed their names to protect their privacy).

You would think that having one autistic child is bad enough but with three? I totally admire them as a couple and a family unit. Their first born who share my son's name is on the other end of the spectrum. I would not say that he is severely autistic but then again, observing him for about 45 minutes, I could gather that he is hard work.

Alex is a 5 1/2 years old, non-verbal child that can only sign "more" for everything. He has a tendency to run away without notice and his parents had to be very very aware of his whereabouts. He has no eye contact and when I tried to talk to him, he shrugged away and back to his own world.

Their second son, was recently diagnosed with ASD and he is on the mild end of the spectrum. Both Cara and Brian thought that their second born was neuro typical until six months ago, he was assessed and diagnosed. I didn't manage to get much information from Cara as she was busy going after Alex and I doubt she had anytime to herself.

Their youngest is 24 months and they suspect that he is on the spectrum too. He is very very much hard work and the temper tantrum is .... well, I must say that, his parents are Saints.

Looking at Cara and Brian work as a unit makes one admire their courage and patience.

I told Jeremy about them when I got home and I could feel the tears rolling down my cheek. We are so lucky that our Alex is so loving and cheeky .... always receiving hugs and making us laugh. I cannot bear to think what it feels like to have three children, in their own world and not even a hug when you are at the lowest.

Cara and Brian is a true example of what a family or a couple should be. They work together despite all the bad things thrown at them. They still manage a smile and a laugh in the very short time we were together. I hope I will see them again.

He is getting increasingly frustrated.

Alex was trying very hard to speak this morning. He wanted to say bye bye da da car. What came out was "Bye bye dada ...." and repeat the whole thing again for several time. I could tell that he wanted to say bye bye da da car but when he try to make a sentence, he stuttered. Towards the end, he was in tears out of frustration and still no complete sentence.

Watching him getting frustrated made me sad but I know that this is progress. It shows that he wanted to talk and that he wanted it to be perfect.

Both Jeremy and I asked him to calm down and speak slowly by breaking down the sentence into three parts. To Alex, breaking it into three part is not a sentence and he continued to try and still couldn't get it right.

He is also getting very teary lately .... especially when we say "no" to him. His expression changes from a smile to a frown and tears in split second. It would be easier to give in to his every demand but I know better. If I allow this, he will know that he can use tears to get what he wanted and our lives would not be worth living (sigh).

Is there a funny side to this?

We are back!

You may have guessed that I've been away. We took Alex to Warwick Castle and Drayton Manor over a four-day weekend. All I can say is ..... you could never ask for a better child than Alex. He was so good and considering that he is a child with ASD, he certainly cope well with changes.

We stayed in three different places, two hotels and a night at our friends home in Newport. Ate in very noisy restaurants, lots of walking and driving.

Everything went wrong from the beginning of our holiday starting with Jeremy making a mistake with his hospital appointment. When we planned the holiday, he said that his appointment was at 9am. So, we decided to leave for Warwick Castle right after his visit to the hospital. The night before, he said he made a mistake and it was 11:30am.

On Friday morning, at 10:45am, he said "Oh God ... my appointment is at 11am." We had to rush out the door and luckily, we made it in time for his appointment. Then, we realised we forgot to take Alex's letter from his doctor to get an exit pass at Drayton Manor. By the time we got everything sorted, it was already 1pm. I felt like killing someone as it was so stressful.

We realised that all our holidays starts with stress and then we needed another holiday to get over the first one. Thankfully, we all enjoyed this one.

We got home on Monday night and Alex went straight to bed after his shower, both Jeremy and I hit the bed straight after.

Tuesday morning, laundry ..... what joy! Wouldn't it be nice that we don't have to do all these after a holiday?

In the evening, I went to my friend Gaynor's Charity Curry Night in aid of National Autistic Society at another friend's restaurant. I helped her arrange this with the restaurant and she did the rest. Jeremy did not come with me as he had to babysit Alex.

Alex said "Goodnight" to me before I left and when I got home, he was fast asleep and looked like a cherub. I walked in at midnight and Jeremy was waiting for me, reading in bed.

Jeremy asked how my night was and I told him that I enjoyed it very much. We raised quite a bit of money and he said that he was very proud of me for helping Gaynor.

It was nothing, really. I was just helping a friend who is doing this for good cause. Gaynor gave up smoking at the beginning of the year and then train everyday to prepare for a 10 days trek across the Sahara.

So, in comparison, organising a curry night is just ......

Anyway, Alex came to me first thing in the morning. Gave me a big hug and kiss as if he hasn't seen me in years.

I like that feeling and may consider doing it more often.

Warwick Castle - Day 1 (what's left of it)

Alex ... posing (I wished) it was just pure luck I captured this

Beautiful castle and we loved it. It would be even better if we packed a hamper for a picnic.

The main attraction for the castle this season. A trebuchet.

You can see what I meant by pure luck if we need a proper photo of Alex. As soon as he sees the camera, he'll say "Cheese" and looked away or run away. I long for the days where he smiled to the camera with his loveliest smile.

Day 2 & 3 (Newport)

Stayed at Tammy and Simon's home for a night and then went to the Canal (about 15 minutes) for a walk. Left at about 1pm for Tamworth.

We had a great time with Tammy and Simon. Drank wine and chat while Alex slept upstairs.

Day 4 (Thomas Land, Drayton Manor)

Although Alex had an exit pass, we used it only on one or two rides and queued for the rest. When the staff saw us queue, they came to us to let us know that we can just show up at the exit and I told them that we are aware of that but we want Alex to learn to queue.

It was a good day out and Alex loved it.

Pay it forward.

I've recently found this useful website www.Freecycle.org . The Freecycle Network™ is made up of 4,557 groups with 5,525,000 members across the globe. It's a grassroots and entirely nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in their own towns. It's all about reuse and keeping good stuff out of landfills.

Yesterday, a lady came to collect a few of the stuff I advertised for her daughter who's moving into an empty flat. I had quite a few people writing to me after that ... to ask if the items were taken. With the recent credit crunch, many people are looking into getting secondhand stuff to tie them over. I totally support reuse and recycle as the things that we have in our garage and loft can actually help many people.

Five years ago when I moved in with Jeremy, we had surplus as two household combined into one. The things are still quite new and we just couldn't part with them or we are waiting for that one fine day when we can organise a car boot sale to earn some extra cash.

Days turned to weeks and then years, the things are still there untouched. I told Jeremy about this site and tested out with the first lot by giving away Alex's high chair. He was quite reluctant at the beginning as the chair is worth quite a bit if car booted.

I was quite frustrated as I know we will never get to do a car boot and told him what I think. I think we should help people with our surplus. If we need them, they would not be in the garage or loft untouched for five years. These things are worth more to people who need them than to us as you can get pittance for your things in a car boot sale. It's demoralising ... when you pay so much for your things and sold at an obscenely low price.

The look on the lady's face tells us that she is really grateful. She said "I will return you a favour one day". I told her "Pay it forward". She smiled and left.

Jeremy overheard from the front room and came to give me a hug. He said he love me because I have a good heart. He decided to let me decide what I want to do with the things we have.

I told him, "If we can help one person a day, it makes our life worthwhile". We received so much from people helping Alex and I am so grateful. The only way I could repay that is to do good and help others.

If we live our lives only to take care of ourselves (quite rightly so). What do we leave behind when we die? I don't want fame but I know life is bigger than just me and my family.

If everyone can help one person each day, the world would be a better place.

Summer Holiday ..... is it hurray or bother?

Live's upside down when it comes to school holidays .... especially the long ones.

Is it me (us) or all parents are the same? We feel that we MUST do something or go somewhere with the children when they are perfectly happy staying at home playing with their toys?

I feel I must do something with Alex when he is not going to school to stimulate his mind. I don't want him to sit at home all day watching "Bob the Builder" (his new favourite or some may call it obsession).

I've done so much with him that I can't even remember what I did with him (if that make sense).

Anyway, trying hard here to remember what we did since my last blog. Here goes .....

Wednesday .... first day of school holiday - can't remember

Thursday .... second day of school holiday - have no clue

Friday ... this I remember. Went to our Friends of EarlyBird Get-together. I set this group up two months ago and this week has the best turn up so far.

Most of our children goes to Rainbow and Alex had a great time playing with them. Watching the children play together makes one question if the Triad of Impairment is actually correct. They certainly do not lack of social imagination as they were playing monsters and boats.

Alex is one cheeky devil and liked to annoy the girls and make them scream. Holly said, Alex is a monster and so is Joseph. It made me laugh so hard.

The girls were in a tent and then Alex joined them. The girls were quite bossy especially Holly, she said "Alex take off your shoes if you want to come in". Alex being a very obedient boy do as he was told. Lily then said "Thank you for taking your shoes off, Alex". I was watching at the side while the other parents were chatting away. They were playing so politely and then, 30 minutes later, Joseph arrived and the whole politely situation is history as the number of boys equals the number of girls and all hell break loose. The boys especially Alex push the tent while the girls are still inside and made them scream. Alex then ran away laughing and then it was Joseph's turn pushing the tent. It was hilarious watching them.

Joseph is a cute little red head and he was like Alex when he joined Rainbow ... no speech. Six months later, he spoke well. I do hope Alex is like that in 6 months time.

The children played well together with no tantrums. It was a pleasant afternoon and we look forward to our next get-together in two weeks time.

After that, Alex came to Sainsburys with me and he was one helpful boy. All in all, I am very proud of my boy.

Saturday, went to Grandparent's home for lunch. After lunch, Grandad took the ornamental garden sprinkler out and spontaneously, we allow Alex to play in the garden with the sprinkler. It was really hot - about 28 degree Celsius. Took all his clothes off except his underpants. He was playing happily and the look on his face makes me want to get one for him at home.

Sunday. Jeremy went to work and we are all alone at home. I decided to take Alex to Toys'r'us to get a garden sprinkler. He led my hand and took me all over Toys'r'us aimlessly and then finally to the checkout. We didn't find one as the only one they had was twenty pounds - too much to pay for a sprinkler. Thought we might get one in Argos .... nope, they don't have one either. One final place, Homebase and found one for a tenner. Got home and hook it up ..... not working! Looks like .... we have to keep looking.

Well, that's our week, some memorable and some complete blank. It's old age I tell ya ....

The product of Alex's first attempt using my camera.

Breakfast with Alex.

Spur of the moment decision to take this video while Alex is having his breakfast. He started feeding himself for sometime now but haven't had the chance to video him in action.

What do you do with a situation like this?

Do you celebrate with joy that he is finally showing an interest in drawing or you scream at him for drawing on your lovely wall?

I calmly took the pencil away from Alex and told him that the wall is not for drawing and showed him that he should draw in a piece of paper. I asked him if he understood. He said "OK".

I take that as a yes and he will not do it again.

Found this video by accident about Apraxia of Speech or Childhood Verbal Apraxia.

A very interesting video to watch and perhaps answer some of my doubt about Alex being diagnosed with ASD.

Don't get me wrong. I am not in denial that my son is Autistic but perhaps there is a small chance that he might be misdiagnosed. Whether he is misdiagnosed or not, we benefited from the knowledge and understanding of autism.

We had the End of Term Party at Rainbow today. Meeting teachers and other parents of children going to Rainbow. I brought the subject of Apraxia of Speech to Becca, the Speech and Language Therapist. She told me that it's too early to diagnosed Alex as he just started to talk. The teachers are really impressed with his progress.

As usual, Alex stole the attention of everyone in the room. He belted out "Happy Birthday" out of nowhere and then clapped after he finished the song. Everyone joined in clapping and then he started to sing again.

Just so proud of him. He is one happy boy and everyone seem to fall in love with him.

A video from yesterday's picnic.

Serious business ... watching TV - DO NOT DISTURB!

I don't care if you are taking my photo .... beat it!

Finally, a laughter from the ever serious little bod.

48 hours

Progress, regress and then progress again. All within 48 hours.

Alex has been really good on Friday. He went to the toilet on his own first thing in the morning. He did not make a fuss or ask for help like he usually do. I was awake by then and knew what he was doing and stayed in bed to listen. He then went to his playroom and started his morning.

I tiptoed to the toilet and check if he was doing it right. Toilet seat's up, pee in the toilet with no spillage. I checked the floor and it was dry - WOW! I couldn't believe my eyes. I then went to the playroom to see if he had his pants on, and yes he had it on. Again, WOW!

Me being me, cannot hold my joy went to his playroom and gave him a big hug and lots of praise. BIG MISTAKE .... I was not allowed to get back to bed. He insist that I stayed with him ..... 5:30am.

His grandparents came later in the morning and while we were having our chat and tea, Alex went to the toilet again .... on his own and did not ask for help. As he closed the door behind him, I ran to the toilet to listen from outside and being very quiet, I peeked inside and saw ..... Alex standing, holding his crown jewel and pee. He then shake it a bit and pull his pants up.

I was gobsmacked! All this while, I thought Alex couldn't do any of these and he always insist that I do it for him - pull his pants up.

OK, he got a standing ovation from his grandparents who probably thinks his poo smelt like roses .... (actually I do too). He was so happy and was very good all day.

All the excitement and then went to school, he came home pretty tired and went to bed earlier than usual. That means, I don't have time to do my usual ritual with him like getting him to pee an hour before bedtime and then at bedtime.

Saturday morning, he woke up at 4:30am and went straight to the toilet. He had the toilet seat up and then went to the playroom without doing anything. I was listening and was a bit surprise that nothing happened. I woke up and went to see him. He sat on the floor, semi naked, pants next to him, wet all the way. He looked at me as if in embarrassment and then gave a big hug.

I am not a bit surprise as he went to bed early. I went to check on his bed and it was soaked all over. Hooray! I have another load of laundry to wash .... what a joy!

Not a good start to the day and the rest of the day was the same ..... awful.

Alex was very demanding of my attention, he wanted me to take him to the toilet and when I said "you do it", he went to the toilet and peed on the floor and the floor mat. I was at my wits end when I saw what he did and gave him a slap on the bottom. He yelped and then gave me a big hug as if he was sorry. Alex doesn't like angry faces and he will do anything to put a smile on an angry face. As usual, he succeeded.

Another load of washing, floor mats. What a %&#$@ day.

I was really tired by 1pm and took Alex for a nap with me. He woke me at 3pm and then said "Mama ... blue sky" and then he went to pull up the blind. We stayed in bed together looking out the big window. Blue sky and clouds floating by and Alex was singing. We had a good 30 minutes of quality time, enjoying the beautiful sky.

He didn't go to bed until 10pm last night.

Woke up this morning at 5:30am - his usual time. Went to the toilet and do his stuff ... on his own and no spillage.

I guess his regression is due to a bad start in the morning. It's like waking up on the wrong side of bed for the adults. He has been dry at night for sometime now and an accident at night is quite traumatic for a four year old (I guess).

I want bath!

Alex is getting more and more verbal each day and this morning, he surprised us with "I want bath".

Jeremy and I were both in bed when he said that. We both heard exactly the same thing and it was very clear. We then asked him to repeat and all he could say after that was gibberish.

I suspect Alex has Apraxia of Speech. I did a search on Google and found the following which support my suspicion. However, I cannot be certain until Alex start to talk for a period of time and has seen a Speech and Language Pathologist.


What is Apraxia of Speech

Apraxia of speech, also known as verbal apraxia or dyspraxia, is a speech disorder in which a person has trouble saying what he or she wants to say correctly and consistently. It is not due to weakness or paralysis of the speech muscles (the muscles of the face, tongue, and lips). The severity of apraxia of speech can range from mild to severe.

Developmental apraxia of speech (DAS) occurs in children and is present from birth. It appears to affect more boys than girls. This speech disorder goes by several other names, including developmental verbal apraxia, developmental verbal dyspraxia, articulatory apraxia, and childhood apraxia of speech. DAS is different from what is known as a developmental delay of speech, in which a child follows the "typical" path of speech development but does so more slowly than normal.

The cause or causes of DAS are not yet known. Some scientists believe that DAS is a disorder related to a child's overall language development. Others believe it is a neurological disorder that affects the brain's ability to send the proper signals to move the muscles involved in speech. However, brain imaging and other studies have not found evidence of specific brain lesions or differences in brain structure in children with DAS. Children with DAS often have family members who have a history of communication disorders or learning disabilities. This observation and recent research findings suggest that genetic factors may play a role in the disorder.

What are the symptoms?

People with either form of apraxia of speech may have a number of different speech characteristics, or symptoms. One of the most notable symptoms is difficulty putting sounds and syllables together in the correct order to form words. Longer or more complex words are usually harder to say than shorter or simpler words. People with apraxia of speech also tend to make inconsistent mistakes when speaking. For example, they may say a difficult word correctly but then have trouble repeating it, or they may be able to say a particular sound one day and have trouble with the same sound the next day. People with apraxia of speech often appear to be groping for the right sound or word, and may try saying a word several times before they say it correctly. Another common characteristic of apraxia of speech is the incorrect use of "prosody" -- that is, the varying rhythms, stresses, and inflections of speech that are used to help express meaning.

Children with developmental apraxia of speech generally can understand language much better than they are able to use language to express themselves. Some children with the disorder may also have other problems. These can include other speech problems, such as dysarthria; language problems such as poor vocabulary, incorrect grammar, and difficulty in clearly organizing spoken information; problems with reading, writing, spelling, or math; coordination or "motor-skill" problems; and chewing and swallowing difficulties.

The severity of both acquired and developmental apraxia of speech varies from person to person. Apraxia can be so mild that a person has trouble with very few speech sounds or only has occasional problems pronouncing words with many syllables. In the most severe cases, a person may not be able to communicate effectively with speech, and may need the help of alternative or additional communication methods.

I hope I am wrong and this is only a temporary phase.

We've waited too long for this moment.

Alex has finally decided to talk. He is beginning to join three or four word together to form a sentence.

He said "Mama, more apple juice" two weeks ago when we went to London with Adrinna. That was that .... but then, he started to talk more over last weekend. He said "Mama go make juice" this morning and "Dada go airport" when he wanted to say that his dad is at work.

Two hours ago, he said "Mama, blue sky" and "I go bath, Dada bath" when he wanted to have his shower. He gave Jeremy a big hug and kiss and then said "Bye bye Dada" when Jeremy was leaving for work.

Sweetest words to our ears. We just cannot believe how fast he progressed since Rainbow.

Last Saturday, Nicholas came to play and Alex was sitting next to him at the beginning. They were playing their own things. As the day progresses, he exchanged toys with Nicholas and played with him. They share a giggle or two (only they knew what was so funny) and that, I think is a major milestone.

Alex is very very cheeky and he, like his Dad has a wicked sense of humour.

Our days will be very very different and I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. Alex WILL talk and the day has come.

Mayday mayday ..... Bad hair day!

So pleased with my new hairstyle for the past two days. After a wash last night, I woke up with a crazy hair.

There is no word to describe my hair and the only thing I could do now is to wash my hair again and put some anti-frizz spray. I will have to spend another 15 minutes with the ceramic straightener to get my hair straight and hopefully nice again.

Arghhh ..... why didn't I think that this will happen?

We had a meeting with Alex's teacher and Speech Therapist at Rainbow yesterday. We talked about his progress and the things we need to do at home to compliment their support in helping Alex talk. The meeting ended and we had idle chat about Alex in general. From the look on the teacher's smile, you can tell that she is really impressed with our little devil.

Alex was also made a role model for the other children in his class for good eating. It made us laugh and very proud as Alex have no problem eating and trying new things. Most children with ASD has eating problem and prefer eating the same things and cooked in certain ways.

Becca, the Speech Therapist is really impressed with Alex's progress. She thinks that Alex can talk but just don't want to do it most of the time because of his passive nature. However, when he wants to ... he tried very hard. 

We learned a thing or two about our son yesterday. He doesn't like losing ... they play board games in school and when someone else is winning, he will wreck the game. Oh dear!

He also initiate play with the other children and they have a lot of fun together. When the teacher said that, she was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. You could tell that she love her children very much. 

Alex will stay in the afternoon session when the new term in September starts and two of his friends will move to the morning session as they concentrate on different issue. The morning session is mainly for social difficulty and the afternoon is for speech and language disorder.

We are very pleased with his progress and development. All the wait for Rainbow is definitely worth it.

Alex's first face painting experience.

It's was a surprise for us to see Alex came back from school with his face painted yesterday. I supposed they might as well use the face painter's service since they have hired her for the day.

Yesterday was supposed to be Sports/Fun Day at the school. Unfortunately, they had to cancel it at the very last minute because it rained.

It's great that Alex allowed his face to be painted and that's another milestone to celebrate.

Talking about milestone, Jeremy and I had our milestone as well.

Last night, for the very first time in five years, we shared a bottle of champagne and watch movies together. It's nice to be able to do this and not worried. For a very long time, I could not get myself to sit down and have a drink with Jeremy because I was afraid that Alex might wake up in the middle of the night and needed me.

Alex has been sleeping through the night since early this year and this gives us a lot of quality time together as a couple.

Don't get me wrong, we love our son to bits but we need some space sometimes.

Light as a feather ..... the wind could just sweep me off my feet.

I had my haircut today. I feel so alive and young and I could go on and on but I am not. The hair does play a big part on one's wellbeing.

My stylist recommended a shoulder length layer. I wasn't really sure at first but then I thought ... what the heck - try something new and I may just like it.

True enough, as I see the finishing touch to my hair ..... I loved it.

After my haircut, I felt so light and my mood instantly lifted and made me want to make myself look nice more often. I am so tired of looking mumsie with no make up and wearing the same old thing when I have a whole wardrobe of nice clothes and accessories. It's what the hair does to you I tell ya.

Anyway, I went shopping for some make up after my haircut and bought some nail colour as well. I am going to make myself look nice from now on.

When I walked in the door, Jeremy could not get his eyes off me. I thought he was disappointed as he liked my hair long but to my surprise he loved it. He said a few more things which I had to censor and for my ears only. Anyhow ... it was a very flattering comment and I like it.

Good waiting Alex.

Alex is getting good at waiting but not all the time though. I know I am the biggest culprit as I often give him what he wanted straight away to avoid tears and tantrums.

This morning, Alex woke at 5:25am and went to play in the playroom. He came to me at 5:43am and asked for his juice. He pulled the duvet off me and pulled my fingers ... indicating that I want you up and get my juice you lazy mummy.

I looked at my bedside digital clock and it read 5:43. I said "too early Alex, can you wait?" He looked at me .... giving me the most pitiful look and his lips started to purse. I said, "Wait until the clock turn 6:00" he then said OK.

He slept by my side, all the time looking at the clock. Very quiet and very good.

The clock then turned 6:00 he started to flap his arms in excitement and didn't say anything. I knew it was time and then asked him "what is mummy supposed to do when the clock turn 6:00?"

He flapped his hands again and stood up and started to jump on the spot. He was just so excited and then he said "Juice". I had to get up and make him his juice as he was so good ... to be able to wait for 15 minutes ..... it's unheard of.

I could have got up at 5:43 and gave him what he wanted when he pursed his lips but I stood by what I said.

The end result, Alex has proven that he can wait when you want him to.

Oh God! I almost lost everything.

It had to happen to me but thank god I was calmed and collected.

After putting Alex to bed last night, I decided to spend some time surfing the net. To my horror, the computer wouldn't start up. I tried at least ten times and it just wouldn't want to know.

I remembered I had a restore disk made when I bought the laptop and looked all over for it. Well, to my surprise [sarcastic] it was no where to be found. If you can't find things in this house, it had to be in the loft (attic). There's one thing that Jeremy like doing, put everything up in the loft so that the house doesn't look untidy. Does not matter if you need it or if it's your half eaten sandwich, don't like the look of it .... up the loft.

I was panicking (or did I said I was calm and collected - don't believe a word I said) I went looking for a stool (as I am short) to help me reach and pull the loft stairs down. The noise ..... and Alex is still sleeping (although, he stirred a bit and turned).

Anyway, found the restore disk, tried to start up the computer again .... nope don't want to know. So, I search frantically for the manual and hopefully this will work. I took the battery off and used the main instead.

On button ...... hurray! I heard the hard disk starting up and the window logo and then it said that I need to start on repair mode and restore to the last point when the computer was working fine.

Thank god!

If anything untoward happen to my laptop, I don't know what to do. It's not the cost of the laptop I was concerned about but all the photos and videos of Alex for the past four years were not backed up.

After the computer come back on, I spent four hours backing up all the photos and videos on six discs. I was knacked by then and went straight to bed. This should teach me a lesson.

I remembered that I updated a security update earlier in the day and then this happened ... after I put the computer on standby.

At Windsor Castle. The Queen's not home.

Toilet duty. Jeremy is responsible for taking Alex to the toilet (seem like every 5 minutes)

Big Ben on the background. It's been a long time since we took a picture together. Adrinna and me that is.

We were on the bus all day. Easiest way to see London but it's really tiring.

It was a busy week for us.

Adrinna arrived last Thursday and left for Tampa on Wednesday morning. She flew all this way for our wedding and had to get home in time for her exam. We really appreciate her presence and already we are missing her.

Because of the short time she has in England, we decided to take her see as many places as we possibly can .... since she spent all that money travelling here.

Friday, the day before our wedding .... I took her to Windsor. It's quite nice doing the tourist thing with my sister. Although Windsor is only 15 minutes from where I live, I don't really go see the castle or Windsor. The last time I was there was with my mum four years ago.

We went into the Castle, do the tourist thing, buy some souvenirs and even experienced the unpredictable English weather. We were soaking wet at one point and was knackered by the end of the day.

I was supposed to walked down the aisle the next day but my feet were so tired, I thought I'll have to use the wheelchair instead.

It was good fun and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Meanwhile, Jeremy was home waiting for Alex to get home from school. He is one terrific dad and a very understanding partner (still partner then but have promoted to husband since) and I love him very much for that.

Saturday .... the Wedding. Got up early in the morning to get my hair done in Bracknell and then went to Reading Oracles to get my make-up done. Had lunch there as well and never have I gulped my food that fast. I know I won't have time to eat if I didn't when I had the chance. Got back to the hotel 5 minutes before Jeremy arrived. Thank god as he wasn't supposed to see me in my dress.

The ceremony ..... as you can see in the videos, it was a good laugh. We then headed downstairs to have the group photos taken and then proceed to the room next door for buffet. It was a casual affair and one thing led to another, we almost forgot to cut the wedding cake.

Sunday .... eat, visit and sleep. Tammy and Simon came all the way from Shropshire and stayed the night with us. We went for Dim Sum in the morning before they left for home. After that, we went to see my in-laws and then to my cousin June's house.

Monday ..... London. This is possibly the proudest day of my life so far. Alex was amazing.

We all woke up early on Monday and left for London by train. Alex loved the train and was really excited about it for two days. Upon arrival, we caught the hop on and off London sight seeing bus to Buckingham Palace to see the changing of guard. Alas, due to the heavy traffic in London, we missed the first three quarter of the show and caught the last 10 minutes.

Had lunch and then hop on the bus again for the river cruise. After the cruise, we hop on another bus for Harrods and to be honest, I don't really care if I go there or not but because it's a must for tourist to go, we went there for Adrinna's sake.

Well, Adrinna didn't think much of it either. That's a waste journey when we could have done other more fruitful things like .... nothing.

We waited a long time for the hop on hop off bus in front of Harrods and never arrived ... we didn't wait around after 30 minutes waiting as someone, we don't remember who now, suggested that we walked to Piccadilly Circus from Knightsbridge. Well, one thing for sure, it wasn't me who suggested it but we had a few strobes and tantrums along the way. The tantrum .... not from Alex but the three adults walking and waiting and asking for direction.

We ended up taking two more bus rides to London Waterloo station costing us another twelve pounds for the short journey. What a bloody rip off to take a single bus journey in London. Two pounds per person for perhaps a two mile ride. I would rather take the car and it would be cheaper at the end of the day. We spent almost a hundred pounds for four of us just on transport alone, from Ascot.

Anyway, we got home at around 10pm and Alex was just amazing. He had his shower and went straight to bed. All day, he did not give us any trouble except asking to go to the toilet.

Tuesday ..... Bath and Stonehenge. Just the two of us again and we went to Bath and then to Stonehenge like any tourist would.

Stonehenge, my first visit again ... after 10 years in England. Never thought much of it except a bunch of stones. Upon close observation and the help of audio guide, this bunch of stones are just amazing. It also has a very calming effect on people visiting the site as I felt so peaceful despite the rushing about for the past few days. Adrinna took her time taking in the experience of the place.

It was great to go visiting around and I also joined the English Heritage membership after visiting Stonehenge. It would be good for us as a family to have this membership as we have a guidebook to tell us where to go. We will make a conscious effort to see England with this membership. Over 400 historical sites to see and what more, if we don't use the membership as its intended, we supported a good cause. We need the organisation to preserve the historical sites for our future generations. Not many country can boast that they have few thousand years of history.

On this note, I am glad I chose England as my home. The beauty of the country can only be appreciated if you stop your hectic life for just a day or so to see it.

With this ring .....

Here's another short video of our ceremony. It took me almost two hours to upload a four minutes video onto youtube.

Here's a snippet of our wedding ceremony yesterday.

Everything that you expect a wedding to be .... forget it!

It all started with me walking down the aisle towards Jeremy and the Registrars. (I stayed at the hotel on Friday night because I didn't want Jeremy to see me in my dress.) When I entered the room and walking towards Jeremy, the look on his face started a little giggle in me. He has the most serious face (I found out later that he wanted to stop himself from crying in front of his friends, hence the serious face) I have ever seen in the five years we've been together.

When the Registrar asked us to hold hands and confirm our names, I could not stop giggling. All my friends/guests thought I was crying/sobbing as I had my back facing them. And then, I burst out laughing and the whole room laugh with me. The Registrar looked at me in horror and asked if I was alright. I said "I am drunk". I don't know why I said that but it was all recorded in our wedding video. (I had a small glass of champagne in my room before the ceremony to calm my nerve. Since I am not a regular drinker, I get rather tipsy with just a sip of alcohol.)

Then came the question (watch video).

When we gave each other our ring as a promise to respect and love, it was again another moment of laughter. The whole room burst into laughter when Jeremy put the ring on my finger. You have to watch the video to understand what a day we had. Even the very serious Registrar made a joke to complete our fun-filled afternoon.

After the Reception, a few of our friends joined us for drinks at home and watched the wedding video together. And then, they knew why I laughed.

Adrinna made a very touching toast. She cried, I cried, my make-up smudged and I really appreciate her flying all the way to attend our wedding.

Yesterday was the best day in my life. I married the love of my life, we had with us ... those closest to our heart and it was a beautiful day.

Thunder tights, Bingo wings and Jelly belly. What do they have in common?

They reside on my body! I am getting married to the love of my life in two days time and am wondering if Thunder, Bingo and Jelly will miraculously disappear and make me the most beautiful woman for the day.

I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and tutted while pinching my excesses. Jeremy walked in and said, "you sure look different now compared to when we first met." I looked at him, he very quickly added "there's more to love now". I just could not stop laughing.

I am not offended with his remarks as I tend to agree. I used to spend hours looking after myself before Alex. Since motherhood, the last thing you have in mind is spend hours doing your own manicure and pedicure - I couldn't find the energy.

I know I should take care of myself but after a whole day of getting things done and with Alex to take care of, it's a very different story. The heart is willing but the body is not.

After five years of being together, we decided to make things formal. Jeremy's mum been asking us for years and we think it's about time to tie loose ends.

I am in no doubt that I found "the" one as Jeremy's been a great friend, lover and dad. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he makes me mad but at the end of the day, I have never been happier.

Alex will be our page boy and I just wonder if he knows what is happening. It's not a big wedding but most of our guests will have a long way to travel. My sister Adrinna will be my bridesmaid, she is flying in from Tampa and my friend, Tammy will be our witness and she will be driving 3 hours from Shropshire.

I will post videos and pictures of our wedding next week. Meanwhile, this will be the only blog for this week until after the wedding.

NOW or NEVER!

Alex will not take NO or WAIT for an answer. He won't take any nonsense if he wants something done NOW.

This morning, he came to our room at 6:30am and gave me a big hug. He then said "Ma ma Juice". I was half asleep and looked at him with one eye opened. "Wait, mummy's still sleeping".

Alex said "No" and pull me up. I then said "Give kiss and then mummy wake up". He said "No" again.

I then said "No Kiss? then ... go get it yourself". In a nano second, he was up, climbed over me, ran downstairs.

I heard some appliance opened, I thought it was the fridge and then ran downstairs. Guess what I saw? He had his bottle in his hand and looked at me with a smile.

I had to laugh and gave him a big hug. I don't know how he knew that the clean bottles are in the dishwasher. But he knew.

Don't underestimate Alex! He is one four year old with some character.

I am my own enemy.

Am I crazy or what? I suffer from Hay fever and is massively allergic to plants. What do I do? I go to the garden centre and get myself a few pots of Gerbera and plot them around the house. I love Gerbera and I love flowers but they don't like me.

I will just have to sneeze my head off as these vicious beautiful things call flowers cheers me up.

We had our final EarlyBird meeting yesterday. This meeting is to follow-up with our progress after our completion of the EarlyBird course three months ago.

A guest speaker was invited. Meretta Hawkins, the ASSC (Autistic Spectrum Social Communication) Coordinator for our area explained the services they provide.

The role of ASSC is to work flexibly with schools at two levels: firstly, a whole-school focus on staff awareness and skills; secondly, to give advice and support for individual pupils.

ASSC provide:

• School based training in Social Communication Difficulties including Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and related issues.
• Advice on strategies and approaches for individual pupils.
• Short term enhanced support for the planning and implementation of programmes in schools.
• Close collaboration with parents, carers and other professionals.

This gives us all a very positive feeling about sending our children to mainstream school knowing that staff are trained and supported to work with our children.

I cannot stress enough time, how lucky we are to live in this area as support for Special Needs are just amazing. I read and hear about parents having to go to court to fight the council to get basic help for their children and yet we don't hear such cases in our area.

It's really a postcode lottery when it comes to getting services for all sorts in this country, I guess. The media regularly complain about NHS, Social Services and the Councils on how inefficient they have been and how some people are treated unfairly etc etc.

Why do they not also report the good things they achieved?

Internet connection out all day ..... end of the world!

I come to rely on the Internet so much that I cannot imagine what it was like before www.

Anyway, we received the Speech and Language Therapy Treatment Plan for Alex yesterday. Here's what they intend to do with Alex ...

Programme Aims:

1. Develop Alex's receptive language skills

2. Develop and extend Alex's expressive language skills

Baseline:

1. Alex is able to understand a 2 information carrying word level

2. Alex uses some single words to request and will attempt to repeat labels after an adult

3. Alex says "bye bye" meaningfully

Objectives:

1. To be able to understand at a 3 information carrying word level

2. To be able to use a range of single words to name objects, request and comment

3. To begin to use early verbs

4. To say "hello" to staff and peers with meaning

* We were given a list of games to play with Alex to encourage a 3 information carrying word level.

I would have thought talking comes naturally but in Alex's case, he need to learn how to make sound opening his mouth. He hums a lot and you know he wants to talk but his brain has a different idea. His brain need to tell him to open his mouth to make the sound.

When I walk around town watching children talking at a very young age, it makes me laugh and sometimes, their mother ask them to "SHUT UP!". What the mum don't know is how lucky she was. She don't have a child who can't/don't talk.

We never appreciate what we have and often take things for granted. I guess Alex taught me a lot of things.

Things seldom happen naturally and if it does, we should appreciate it.

Here's an example of what we had to put up with.

It's impossible to keep the house tidy! When we put things back to their places, Alex will start building another line. He calls them train tracks.

His quirkiness due to autism is getting more apparent each day. He used to line his toys in rows but now, he will line anything that he sees, not just toys (as you can see in the video) but books, towel and practically anything that is on his way.

Unlike many children with autism, he allows us to move his stuff and not even make a fuss. When Sam, another EarlyBird trainer came to see us, she saw Alex's row of toys and tread very slowly, afraid that she might mess them up. I told her that it's OK, Alex doesn't mind.

She said it's really good that Alex is flexible, she has seen many children and they will throw a huge tantrum just because one of their toys are out of place.

I supposed his flexibility is due to our not giving in too much to him. We will allow occasional tantrums but once he cross the line, we will tell him "it's enough" and he will stop immediately. We love Alex to bits but we don't mollycoddle him too much but then again what is enough and too much? We'll just have to follow our instincts.

Two days ago, Alex decided that a Satsuma is a "train" and he pushed it around his "Thomas the Tank tracks". The end result, orange peel and juice all over the tracks and carpet - that gave me a very good reason to clean his toys.

Now that's what I call influencing someone to do things!

My knight and shinning armour ....

Talking about men trying to help .... a Damsel in distress? ha ha ha

Jeremy came home from work chirpy and funny this morning. Looked like the airport wasn't that busy last night. So, when he is not tired, he is the most loveable guy you've ever met. But when he is tired, you wished you'll never see him again. He is one extreme from another and knowing him like I do, I would not change a single thing about him. He is after all the love of my life .... (here's where you're supposed to say awwww ...)

Anyway, he made a funny face pulling his tongue out at me and wiggle it about. I then said "So, you think you are one of those Kivian?" He looked at me and said "What do you mean?" I said "you know? those natives from New Zealand? like those rugby players?"

"Oh you mean Kiwian. It's KIWIAN not Kivian" he said. All of a sudden, it struck me, the natives are called Maori and Kiwian does not exist in the dictionary.

I started laughing out loud and roll over. He looked at me all puzzled. I told him and he looked at me and said "I was only trying to help!"

It was too funny not to write this in my blog and told him that I will. We had a good laugh and he said "I'll never escape from this will I?"

Sorry to say "No, Darling ... not a chance!"

Typical!

If the phone company has 80% of their customers like me, they would have gone bankrupt in the first month. The only reason we have a phone at home is for emergency and for family to call us. I am more of an email person and leave talking when we are face to face.

My phone hardly rings and even if it does, it's very seldom and we know who's at the other end. If the phone doesn't ring once all day, it's quite normal (I know .... I'm weird right?) Anyway, at about 5:00pm, I picked up the phone to ring our Satellite company and realised that the phone's not working. I looked around to see what the problem was ...... guess what? Alex turned the main switch off.

Without thinking twice, I turned it on and used the phone. Upon putting down the phone, it rang immediately and it was Julia, one of the EarlyBird trainers to remind us of next week's meeting.

An email arrived later, it was Adrinna. Here's what she said "I am convinced now that you are never home. Tried calling you a few times today with no answer. Even the answering machine don’t pick up…did it go out too??? "

Ouch ..... lol

I was about to start writing my blog when Alex started to sing "Bob the Builder". I did not catch the song from the beginning but this is towards the end of the song.

We went to see Dr. Irani yesterday morning and I have not stop smiling since.

It was Alex's six monthly evaluation with his paediatrician and the first thing that Dr. Irani commented was, "Look how tall you are now".

We talked about Alex being dry day and night, feeding himself, drinking from a cup and a straw (yes, he just started doing that) and everything else. Dr. Irani looked at Alex and was so proud of him and he said "Well done Mummy!" [music to my ear ;-)]

Dr. Irani said that he is very much like any other four year old and he can't see why Alex cannot go to a mainstream school.

He then did a few test with Alex, he put a hairbrush, a doll, a spoon, a cup and a ball on the table.

He asked Alex to give the spoon to mummy and brush dollie's hair. Alex looked at dollie and gave the brush to me - he forgot about the spoon and was not sure about dollie and mummy.

Dr. Irani gave him another instruction to put the ball in the cup and feed Dollie with the spoon. He fed dollie with the cup.

He was also asked to build a bridge with three blocks. Alex don't normally do things using both hands, he tried to build a bridge with one hand and made a tower instead. When asked to draw a straight line from bottom to top, he drew squiggly lines and then asked to draw a circle and he made a big circle.

Dr. Irani concluded that he can only understand a two or three word instruction (mildly delayed for his age) and he needed more practice in using a pencil. I was advised to let him practice his drawing skills by getting him books that join the dotted lines and tracing. He will then gradually start to write and draw.

"Alex will have no problem leading a normal life" said Dr. Irani. He has good eye contact and social skill. He is aware of his surroundings and his attention span has improved. "I will see you again in 12 months time?", "I think Alex will be doing very well by then".

Alex said bye to Dr. Irani and then shook his hand. Dr. Irani said "He is a very likeable child" and smiled.

"Mummy, why are they jumping queue?"

Jane and I took Alex and Nicholas to Legoland last Saturday. Normally, I don't like going to Legoland on weekends because they are extremely busy and the wait for rides are forever. However, since Alex goes to Rainbow everyday, I haven't been able to plan play dates for him and Nicholas. So, Jane and I decided to take the children to Legoland instead.

Since this is Nicholas' first visit, we decided to get an exit pass for the children - just in case the queue is too long. Nicholas has Cerebral Palsy and cannot walk unaided, it is difficult for him to stand in a queue for too long.

We went to a few small rides without using the pass and the children enjoyed their day very much. Lunch time came and went and we decided to go for one last ride before heading home as the children are getting tired and restless. We went to this small roller coaster and the queue was too long for the children to wait. We used the exit pass instead and walk past the other people, heading for the exit/entrance for disabled. Suddenly, I heard a child cried and said "Mummy, why are they jumping queue?". All of a sudden, I felt so bad for using the pass.

I find it difficult to use the pass as I am conscious of other people having to queue for hours, they too have children and their children get tired and restless too. But the other selfish part of me wants to enhance my child's experience.

I have seen other people using the pass in a way as if it's god's given right. Will I be like that in years to come? I hope not!

I don't think I can give a good answer to Alex if he were to ask me the question "Mummy, why are they jumping queue?" What do I say? Do I say that life is not fair?

It's difficult to decide how I want to bring Alex up. I am inconsistent with my own believes as sometimes, I tried to be on my high horses that we shouldn't use Alex's disability to gain benefit but if we were to follow rules, Alex will lose out.

What should I do?

I love you too.

Last night, Alex cried for "Ma ma" at 2:00am. I went to his room to give him a hug and he hugged back with intensity. Alex is a very passionate child and when he give love, it hurts .... seriously .... literally HURT ... ouch!

I then asked him if he wanted to pee and he said yes. Took him to the toilet ... did his business and then put him back on his own bed. I said "night night" and he said "nite nite". I turned around and said "love you" and he said "mm mm mm mm", deep down I knew he said "I love you too".  

This morning, Alex said a new word "Marb" (meaning mark). He led his dad all over the house looking at things and counting them. This time, it's radiators - went around the house and pointed at one in the back bedroom and said "marb". We were both cracking our head trying to figure out what he was trying to say - he then went to the radiator and pointed at one small mark on the top of the unit. You could hardly see it but with "Wonder Eyes", he can see the smallest mark and make a big statement.

Alex can hear an aeroplane long before we can and he can see tiny dots on the window that only upon close examination, you can see them. His sight were tested about eight months ago as 20/20 and his hearing excellent. I don't know how they can test him when he can't talk but they can. I am glad that Alex has good sight, something he got from me. If he is anything like Jeremy, he would be blind as a bat.

Jeremy and Alex has been very close lately and I feel a flutter in my stomach when I see them together. 

When I was young, I have always wanted my future children to have a great relationship with me and their dad. My dad is a typical old fashion Chinese dad who doesn't believe in saying I love you or hugging. I watched a lot of American Tele when I was young and see children hugging their dad and saying I love you. I always wanted that and sadly, we were not brought up that way. That's why, I want my own family to be loving and let each other know how we felt. 

Life is too short and you may never know how long you have in this world .... Don't bottle up your feelings!

The Oscar goes to ..... Alexander Green!

You think he's only four? Think again as this little budding actor is a master of manipulation by any means. From a brilliant actor to a singing sensation .... (I wished)

When Alex wants something, he wants it NOW and if you say "wait", you will be entertained by a puppy dog eyes, pouty lips and tears on demand. I just cannot stop laughing when he does that. I know I shouldn't and laughing means encouraging but I cannot help it.

He can also sing his way to getting what he wanted. Jeremy always say this to Alex .... "To get something, you have to give something back".

I was entertained to the fullest by my little actor this morning. Alex came to my room at 4:30am and he slept next to me until 5:30am. He can't wait any longer and said "Ma ma .... juice" I ignored him for the first three times. At 5:45am, he said "Ma ma ....." I opened one eye and said "go to sleep ... it's too early". At 5:59am ..... puppy dog eyes, pouty lips, tears on demand and "Ma ... maa .... juice". I gave up and went downstairs to get his juice. As soon as he saw his juice bottle, he has the sweetest smile you've ever seen.

Alex is a creature of habit. He always have his juice and then shower before breakfast. After guzzling the whole bottle of juice, he asked to have his "bath" (can't say shower, bath means the same). I said too early. The look again and I said "STOP and NO MORE". He sat quietly and 30 seconds later "Bath". I gave up .... I said OK ... only if you sing for mummy.

He sang "Baa baa black sheep" using only the word "bath" all the way through. How do you ignore such a child?

Is persistence a virtue?

Woo hoo! Alex is sleeping through the night in his own bed.

We redecorated and moved him back to the small room last Friday and he has been sleeping through the night. On one or two occasion last week, he wet himself when he woke up but I can allow that as he needed to adjust to his new environment again. He has been dry, slept through and waking up jolly happy this week ;-)

Alex is getting more and more confident each week since Rainbow. Last week when we went to Bognor Regis, we had lunch at a local family restaurant. (We were not aware that they have an indoor play area with slides and obstacles course at the back.) When we said we have a child dining with us, they took us straight to the back dining area. As soon as we got there, Alex ran straight into the play area and never looked back.

We ordered lunch and when it arrived, Alex came out drenched with sweat all over. He ate half and went in to continue playing and chasing other kids. He came out again to finish the rest and went in again. Back and forth a few times to have a drink and toilet, we could tell that our son is having fun.

Back to confidence, six months ago, this would not happen and Alex would be terrified to go near the area. We will have to encourage him to play and even if he does, he would want one of us to play with him.

Daily reports from Rainbow indicated that Alex is gaining confidence everyday and we know that already. He is highly independent and I have no doubt that Alex can take care of himself when he grows up.

At home, after he finish with his lunch, he will put the plate in the kitchen sink without being told. I don't remember teaching him to do this but our son has shown us that he is capable of cleaning after himself (when he wants to - his room is still a mess and his toys are all over the place).

One of our main concerns when Alex was diagnosed was he won't be able to take care of himself when we are not around. I am less concern in this area now but a new concern has arise.

Alex is still reluctant to hold a crayon or pen. He has shown no interest in this area and we are worried that he may not be able to go to mainstream school. However, looking at the progress that Alex is achieving in such a short time, our concern may not be a concern in the next six months.

I guess as parents, we are always worried for our children and no amount of assurance can change that.