Pay it forward.

I've recently found this useful website www.Freecycle.org . The Freecycle Network™ is made up of 4,557 groups with 5,525,000 members across the globe. It's a grassroots and entirely nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in their own towns. It's all about reuse and keeping good stuff out of landfills.

Yesterday, a lady came to collect a few of the stuff I advertised for her daughter who's moving into an empty flat. I had quite a few people writing to me after that ... to ask if the items were taken. With the recent credit crunch, many people are looking into getting secondhand stuff to tie them over. I totally support reuse and recycle as the things that we have in our garage and loft can actually help many people.

Five years ago when I moved in with Jeremy, we had surplus as two household combined into one. The things are still quite new and we just couldn't part with them or we are waiting for that one fine day when we can organise a car boot sale to earn some extra cash.

Days turned to weeks and then years, the things are still there untouched. I told Jeremy about this site and tested out with the first lot by giving away Alex's high chair. He was quite reluctant at the beginning as the chair is worth quite a bit if car booted.

I was quite frustrated as I know we will never get to do a car boot and told him what I think. I think we should help people with our surplus. If we need them, they would not be in the garage or loft untouched for five years. These things are worth more to people who need them than to us as you can get pittance for your things in a car boot sale. It's demoralising ... when you pay so much for your things and sold at an obscenely low price.

The look on the lady's face tells us that she is really grateful. She said "I will return you a favour one day". I told her "Pay it forward". She smiled and left.

Jeremy overheard from the front room and came to give me a hug. He said he love me because I have a good heart. He decided to let me decide what I want to do with the things we have.

I told him, "If we can help one person a day, it makes our life worthwhile". We received so much from people helping Alex and I am so grateful. The only way I could repay that is to do good and help others.

If we live our lives only to take care of ourselves (quite rightly so). What do we leave behind when we die? I don't want fame but I know life is bigger than just me and my family.

If everyone can help one person each day, the world would be a better place.

Summer Holiday ..... is it hurray or bother?

Live's upside down when it comes to school holidays .... especially the long ones.

Is it me (us) or all parents are the same? We feel that we MUST do something or go somewhere with the children when they are perfectly happy staying at home playing with their toys?

I feel I must do something with Alex when he is not going to school to stimulate his mind. I don't want him to sit at home all day watching "Bob the Builder" (his new favourite or some may call it obsession).

I've done so much with him that I can't even remember what I did with him (if that make sense).

Anyway, trying hard here to remember what we did since my last blog. Here goes .....

Wednesday .... first day of school holiday - can't remember

Thursday .... second day of school holiday - have no clue

Friday ... this I remember. Went to our Friends of EarlyBird Get-together. I set this group up two months ago and this week has the best turn up so far.

Most of our children goes to Rainbow and Alex had a great time playing with them. Watching the children play together makes one question if the Triad of Impairment is actually correct. They certainly do not lack of social imagination as they were playing monsters and boats.

Alex is one cheeky devil and liked to annoy the girls and make them scream. Holly said, Alex is a monster and so is Joseph. It made me laugh so hard.

The girls were in a tent and then Alex joined them. The girls were quite bossy especially Holly, she said "Alex take off your shoes if you want to come in". Alex being a very obedient boy do as he was told. Lily then said "Thank you for taking your shoes off, Alex". I was watching at the side while the other parents were chatting away. They were playing so politely and then, 30 minutes later, Joseph arrived and the whole politely situation is history as the number of boys equals the number of girls and all hell break loose. The boys especially Alex push the tent while the girls are still inside and made them scream. Alex then ran away laughing and then it was Joseph's turn pushing the tent. It was hilarious watching them.

Joseph is a cute little red head and he was like Alex when he joined Rainbow ... no speech. Six months later, he spoke well. I do hope Alex is like that in 6 months time.

The children played well together with no tantrums. It was a pleasant afternoon and we look forward to our next get-together in two weeks time.

After that, Alex came to Sainsburys with me and he was one helpful boy. All in all, I am very proud of my boy.

Saturday, went to Grandparent's home for lunch. After lunch, Grandad took the ornamental garden sprinkler out and spontaneously, we allow Alex to play in the garden with the sprinkler. It was really hot - about 28 degree Celsius. Took all his clothes off except his underpants. He was playing happily and the look on his face makes me want to get one for him at home.

Sunday. Jeremy went to work and we are all alone at home. I decided to take Alex to Toys'r'us to get a garden sprinkler. He led my hand and took me all over Toys'r'us aimlessly and then finally to the checkout. We didn't find one as the only one they had was twenty pounds - too much to pay for a sprinkler. Thought we might get one in Argos .... nope, they don't have one either. One final place, Homebase and found one for a tenner. Got home and hook it up ..... not working! Looks like .... we have to keep looking.

Well, that's our week, some memorable and some complete blank. It's old age I tell ya ....

The product of Alex's first attempt using my camera.

Breakfast with Alex.

Spur of the moment decision to take this video while Alex is having his breakfast. He started feeding himself for sometime now but haven't had the chance to video him in action.

What do you do with a situation like this?

Do you celebrate with joy that he is finally showing an interest in drawing or you scream at him for drawing on your lovely wall?

I calmly took the pencil away from Alex and told him that the wall is not for drawing and showed him that he should draw in a piece of paper. I asked him if he understood. He said "OK".

I take that as a yes and he will not do it again.

Found this video by accident about Apraxia of Speech or Childhood Verbal Apraxia.

A very interesting video to watch and perhaps answer some of my doubt about Alex being diagnosed with ASD.

Don't get me wrong. I am not in denial that my son is Autistic but perhaps there is a small chance that he might be misdiagnosed. Whether he is misdiagnosed or not, we benefited from the knowledge and understanding of autism.

We had the End of Term Party at Rainbow today. Meeting teachers and other parents of children going to Rainbow. I brought the subject of Apraxia of Speech to Becca, the Speech and Language Therapist. She told me that it's too early to diagnosed Alex as he just started to talk. The teachers are really impressed with his progress.

As usual, Alex stole the attention of everyone in the room. He belted out "Happy Birthday" out of nowhere and then clapped after he finished the song. Everyone joined in clapping and then he started to sing again.

Just so proud of him. He is one happy boy and everyone seem to fall in love with him.

A video from yesterday's picnic.

Serious business ... watching TV - DO NOT DISTURB!

I don't care if you are taking my photo .... beat it!

Finally, a laughter from the ever serious little bod.

48 hours

Progress, regress and then progress again. All within 48 hours.

Alex has been really good on Friday. He went to the toilet on his own first thing in the morning. He did not make a fuss or ask for help like he usually do. I was awake by then and knew what he was doing and stayed in bed to listen. He then went to his playroom and started his morning.

I tiptoed to the toilet and check if he was doing it right. Toilet seat's up, pee in the toilet with no spillage. I checked the floor and it was dry - WOW! I couldn't believe my eyes. I then went to the playroom to see if he had his pants on, and yes he had it on. Again, WOW!

Me being me, cannot hold my joy went to his playroom and gave him a big hug and lots of praise. BIG MISTAKE .... I was not allowed to get back to bed. He insist that I stayed with him ..... 5:30am.

His grandparents came later in the morning and while we were having our chat and tea, Alex went to the toilet again .... on his own and did not ask for help. As he closed the door behind him, I ran to the toilet to listen from outside and being very quiet, I peeked inside and saw ..... Alex standing, holding his crown jewel and pee. He then shake it a bit and pull his pants up.

I was gobsmacked! All this while, I thought Alex couldn't do any of these and he always insist that I do it for him - pull his pants up.

OK, he got a standing ovation from his grandparents who probably thinks his poo smelt like roses .... (actually I do too). He was so happy and was very good all day.

All the excitement and then went to school, he came home pretty tired and went to bed earlier than usual. That means, I don't have time to do my usual ritual with him like getting him to pee an hour before bedtime and then at bedtime.

Saturday morning, he woke up at 4:30am and went straight to the toilet. He had the toilet seat up and then went to the playroom without doing anything. I was listening and was a bit surprise that nothing happened. I woke up and went to see him. He sat on the floor, semi naked, pants next to him, wet all the way. He looked at me as if in embarrassment and then gave a big hug.

I am not a bit surprise as he went to bed early. I went to check on his bed and it was soaked all over. Hooray! I have another load of laundry to wash .... what a joy!

Not a good start to the day and the rest of the day was the same ..... awful.

Alex was very demanding of my attention, he wanted me to take him to the toilet and when I said "you do it", he went to the toilet and peed on the floor and the floor mat. I was at my wits end when I saw what he did and gave him a slap on the bottom. He yelped and then gave me a big hug as if he was sorry. Alex doesn't like angry faces and he will do anything to put a smile on an angry face. As usual, he succeeded.

Another load of washing, floor mats. What a %&#$@ day.

I was really tired by 1pm and took Alex for a nap with me. He woke me at 3pm and then said "Mama ... blue sky" and then he went to pull up the blind. We stayed in bed together looking out the big window. Blue sky and clouds floating by and Alex was singing. We had a good 30 minutes of quality time, enjoying the beautiful sky.

He didn't go to bed until 10pm last night.

Woke up this morning at 5:30am - his usual time. Went to the toilet and do his stuff ... on his own and no spillage.

I guess his regression is due to a bad start in the morning. It's like waking up on the wrong side of bed for the adults. He has been dry at night for sometime now and an accident at night is quite traumatic for a four year old (I guess).

I want bath!

Alex is getting more and more verbal each day and this morning, he surprised us with "I want bath".

Jeremy and I were both in bed when he said that. We both heard exactly the same thing and it was very clear. We then asked him to repeat and all he could say after that was gibberish.

I suspect Alex has Apraxia of Speech. I did a search on Google and found the following which support my suspicion. However, I cannot be certain until Alex start to talk for a period of time and has seen a Speech and Language Pathologist.


What is Apraxia of Speech

Apraxia of speech, also known as verbal apraxia or dyspraxia, is a speech disorder in which a person has trouble saying what he or she wants to say correctly and consistently. It is not due to weakness or paralysis of the speech muscles (the muscles of the face, tongue, and lips). The severity of apraxia of speech can range from mild to severe.

Developmental apraxia of speech (DAS) occurs in children and is present from birth. It appears to affect more boys than girls. This speech disorder goes by several other names, including developmental verbal apraxia, developmental verbal dyspraxia, articulatory apraxia, and childhood apraxia of speech. DAS is different from what is known as a developmental delay of speech, in which a child follows the "typical" path of speech development but does so more slowly than normal.

The cause or causes of DAS are not yet known. Some scientists believe that DAS is a disorder related to a child's overall language development. Others believe it is a neurological disorder that affects the brain's ability to send the proper signals to move the muscles involved in speech. However, brain imaging and other studies have not found evidence of specific brain lesions or differences in brain structure in children with DAS. Children with DAS often have family members who have a history of communication disorders or learning disabilities. This observation and recent research findings suggest that genetic factors may play a role in the disorder.

What are the symptoms?

People with either form of apraxia of speech may have a number of different speech characteristics, or symptoms. One of the most notable symptoms is difficulty putting sounds and syllables together in the correct order to form words. Longer or more complex words are usually harder to say than shorter or simpler words. People with apraxia of speech also tend to make inconsistent mistakes when speaking. For example, they may say a difficult word correctly but then have trouble repeating it, or they may be able to say a particular sound one day and have trouble with the same sound the next day. People with apraxia of speech often appear to be groping for the right sound or word, and may try saying a word several times before they say it correctly. Another common characteristic of apraxia of speech is the incorrect use of "prosody" -- that is, the varying rhythms, stresses, and inflections of speech that are used to help express meaning.

Children with developmental apraxia of speech generally can understand language much better than they are able to use language to express themselves. Some children with the disorder may also have other problems. These can include other speech problems, such as dysarthria; language problems such as poor vocabulary, incorrect grammar, and difficulty in clearly organizing spoken information; problems with reading, writing, spelling, or math; coordination or "motor-skill" problems; and chewing and swallowing difficulties.

The severity of both acquired and developmental apraxia of speech varies from person to person. Apraxia can be so mild that a person has trouble with very few speech sounds or only has occasional problems pronouncing words with many syllables. In the most severe cases, a person may not be able to communicate effectively with speech, and may need the help of alternative or additional communication methods.

I hope I am wrong and this is only a temporary phase.

We've waited too long for this moment.

Alex has finally decided to talk. He is beginning to join three or four word together to form a sentence.

He said "Mama, more apple juice" two weeks ago when we went to London with Adrinna. That was that .... but then, he started to talk more over last weekend. He said "Mama go make juice" this morning and "Dada go airport" when he wanted to say that his dad is at work.

Two hours ago, he said "Mama, blue sky" and "I go bath, Dada bath" when he wanted to have his shower. He gave Jeremy a big hug and kiss and then said "Bye bye Dada" when Jeremy was leaving for work.

Sweetest words to our ears. We just cannot believe how fast he progressed since Rainbow.

Last Saturday, Nicholas came to play and Alex was sitting next to him at the beginning. They were playing their own things. As the day progresses, he exchanged toys with Nicholas and played with him. They share a giggle or two (only they knew what was so funny) and that, I think is a major milestone.

Alex is very very cheeky and he, like his Dad has a wicked sense of humour.

Our days will be very very different and I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. Alex WILL talk and the day has come.

Mayday mayday ..... Bad hair day!

So pleased with my new hairstyle for the past two days. After a wash last night, I woke up with a crazy hair.

There is no word to describe my hair and the only thing I could do now is to wash my hair again and put some anti-frizz spray. I will have to spend another 15 minutes with the ceramic straightener to get my hair straight and hopefully nice again.

Arghhh ..... why didn't I think that this will happen?

We had a meeting with Alex's teacher and Speech Therapist at Rainbow yesterday. We talked about his progress and the things we need to do at home to compliment their support in helping Alex talk. The meeting ended and we had idle chat about Alex in general. From the look on the teacher's smile, you can tell that she is really impressed with our little devil.

Alex was also made a role model for the other children in his class for good eating. It made us laugh and very proud as Alex have no problem eating and trying new things. Most children with ASD has eating problem and prefer eating the same things and cooked in certain ways.

Becca, the Speech Therapist is really impressed with Alex's progress. She thinks that Alex can talk but just don't want to do it most of the time because of his passive nature. However, when he wants to ... he tried very hard. 

We learned a thing or two about our son yesterday. He doesn't like losing ... they play board games in school and when someone else is winning, he will wreck the game. Oh dear!

He also initiate play with the other children and they have a lot of fun together. When the teacher said that, she was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. You could tell that she love her children very much. 

Alex will stay in the afternoon session when the new term in September starts and two of his friends will move to the morning session as they concentrate on different issue. The morning session is mainly for social difficulty and the afternoon is for speech and language disorder.

We are very pleased with his progress and development. All the wait for Rainbow is definitely worth it.

Alex's first face painting experience.

It's was a surprise for us to see Alex came back from school with his face painted yesterday. I supposed they might as well use the face painter's service since they have hired her for the day.

Yesterday was supposed to be Sports/Fun Day at the school. Unfortunately, they had to cancel it at the very last minute because it rained.

It's great that Alex allowed his face to be painted and that's another milestone to celebrate.

Talking about milestone, Jeremy and I had our milestone as well.

Last night, for the very first time in five years, we shared a bottle of champagne and watch movies together. It's nice to be able to do this and not worried. For a very long time, I could not get myself to sit down and have a drink with Jeremy because I was afraid that Alex might wake up in the middle of the night and needed me.

Alex has been sleeping through the night since early this year and this gives us a lot of quality time together as a couple.

Don't get me wrong, we love our son to bits but we need some space sometimes.

Light as a feather ..... the wind could just sweep me off my feet.

I had my haircut today. I feel so alive and young and I could go on and on but I am not. The hair does play a big part on one's wellbeing.

My stylist recommended a shoulder length layer. I wasn't really sure at first but then I thought ... what the heck - try something new and I may just like it.

True enough, as I see the finishing touch to my hair ..... I loved it.

After my haircut, I felt so light and my mood instantly lifted and made me want to make myself look nice more often. I am so tired of looking mumsie with no make up and wearing the same old thing when I have a whole wardrobe of nice clothes and accessories. It's what the hair does to you I tell ya.

Anyway, I went shopping for some make up after my haircut and bought some nail colour as well. I am going to make myself look nice from now on.

When I walked in the door, Jeremy could not get his eyes off me. I thought he was disappointed as he liked my hair long but to my surprise he loved it. He said a few more things which I had to censor and for my ears only. Anyhow ... it was a very flattering comment and I like it.

Good waiting Alex.

Alex is getting good at waiting but not all the time though. I know I am the biggest culprit as I often give him what he wanted straight away to avoid tears and tantrums.

This morning, Alex woke at 5:25am and went to play in the playroom. He came to me at 5:43am and asked for his juice. He pulled the duvet off me and pulled my fingers ... indicating that I want you up and get my juice you lazy mummy.

I looked at my bedside digital clock and it read 5:43. I said "too early Alex, can you wait?" He looked at me .... giving me the most pitiful look and his lips started to purse. I said, "Wait until the clock turn 6:00" he then said OK.

He slept by my side, all the time looking at the clock. Very quiet and very good.

The clock then turned 6:00 he started to flap his arms in excitement and didn't say anything. I knew it was time and then asked him "what is mummy supposed to do when the clock turn 6:00?"

He flapped his hands again and stood up and started to jump on the spot. He was just so excited and then he said "Juice". I had to get up and make him his juice as he was so good ... to be able to wait for 15 minutes ..... it's unheard of.

I could have got up at 5:43 and gave him what he wanted when he pursed his lips but I stood by what I said.

The end result, Alex has proven that he can wait when you want him to.

Oh God! I almost lost everything.

It had to happen to me but thank god I was calmed and collected.

After putting Alex to bed last night, I decided to spend some time surfing the net. To my horror, the computer wouldn't start up. I tried at least ten times and it just wouldn't want to know.

I remembered I had a restore disk made when I bought the laptop and looked all over for it. Well, to my surprise [sarcastic] it was no where to be found. If you can't find things in this house, it had to be in the loft (attic). There's one thing that Jeremy like doing, put everything up in the loft so that the house doesn't look untidy. Does not matter if you need it or if it's your half eaten sandwich, don't like the look of it .... up the loft.

I was panicking (or did I said I was calm and collected - don't believe a word I said) I went looking for a stool (as I am short) to help me reach and pull the loft stairs down. The noise ..... and Alex is still sleeping (although, he stirred a bit and turned).

Anyway, found the restore disk, tried to start up the computer again .... nope don't want to know. So, I search frantically for the manual and hopefully this will work. I took the battery off and used the main instead.

On button ...... hurray! I heard the hard disk starting up and the window logo and then it said that I need to start on repair mode and restore to the last point when the computer was working fine.

Thank god!

If anything untoward happen to my laptop, I don't know what to do. It's not the cost of the laptop I was concerned about but all the photos and videos of Alex for the past four years were not backed up.

After the computer come back on, I spent four hours backing up all the photos and videos on six discs. I was knacked by then and went straight to bed. This should teach me a lesson.

I remembered that I updated a security update earlier in the day and then this happened ... after I put the computer on standby.

At Windsor Castle. The Queen's not home.

Toilet duty. Jeremy is responsible for taking Alex to the toilet (seem like every 5 minutes)

Big Ben on the background. It's been a long time since we took a picture together. Adrinna and me that is.

We were on the bus all day. Easiest way to see London but it's really tiring.

It was a busy week for us.

Adrinna arrived last Thursday and left for Tampa on Wednesday morning. She flew all this way for our wedding and had to get home in time for her exam. We really appreciate her presence and already we are missing her.

Because of the short time she has in England, we decided to take her see as many places as we possibly can .... since she spent all that money travelling here.

Friday, the day before our wedding .... I took her to Windsor. It's quite nice doing the tourist thing with my sister. Although Windsor is only 15 minutes from where I live, I don't really go see the castle or Windsor. The last time I was there was with my mum four years ago.

We went into the Castle, do the tourist thing, buy some souvenirs and even experienced the unpredictable English weather. We were soaking wet at one point and was knackered by the end of the day.

I was supposed to walked down the aisle the next day but my feet were so tired, I thought I'll have to use the wheelchair instead.

It was good fun and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Meanwhile, Jeremy was home waiting for Alex to get home from school. He is one terrific dad and a very understanding partner (still partner then but have promoted to husband since) and I love him very much for that.

Saturday .... the Wedding. Got up early in the morning to get my hair done in Bracknell and then went to Reading Oracles to get my make-up done. Had lunch there as well and never have I gulped my food that fast. I know I won't have time to eat if I didn't when I had the chance. Got back to the hotel 5 minutes before Jeremy arrived. Thank god as he wasn't supposed to see me in my dress.

The ceremony ..... as you can see in the videos, it was a good laugh. We then headed downstairs to have the group photos taken and then proceed to the room next door for buffet. It was a casual affair and one thing led to another, we almost forgot to cut the wedding cake.

Sunday .... eat, visit and sleep. Tammy and Simon came all the way from Shropshire and stayed the night with us. We went for Dim Sum in the morning before they left for home. After that, we went to see my in-laws and then to my cousin June's house.

Monday ..... London. This is possibly the proudest day of my life so far. Alex was amazing.

We all woke up early on Monday and left for London by train. Alex loved the train and was really excited about it for two days. Upon arrival, we caught the hop on and off London sight seeing bus to Buckingham Palace to see the changing of guard. Alas, due to the heavy traffic in London, we missed the first three quarter of the show and caught the last 10 minutes.

Had lunch and then hop on the bus again for the river cruise. After the cruise, we hop on another bus for Harrods and to be honest, I don't really care if I go there or not but because it's a must for tourist to go, we went there for Adrinna's sake.

Well, Adrinna didn't think much of it either. That's a waste journey when we could have done other more fruitful things like .... nothing.

We waited a long time for the hop on hop off bus in front of Harrods and never arrived ... we didn't wait around after 30 minutes waiting as someone, we don't remember who now, suggested that we walked to Piccadilly Circus from Knightsbridge. Well, one thing for sure, it wasn't me who suggested it but we had a few strobes and tantrums along the way. The tantrum .... not from Alex but the three adults walking and waiting and asking for direction.

We ended up taking two more bus rides to London Waterloo station costing us another twelve pounds for the short journey. What a bloody rip off to take a single bus journey in London. Two pounds per person for perhaps a two mile ride. I would rather take the car and it would be cheaper at the end of the day. We spent almost a hundred pounds for four of us just on transport alone, from Ascot.

Anyway, we got home at around 10pm and Alex was just amazing. He had his shower and went straight to bed. All day, he did not give us any trouble except asking to go to the toilet.

Tuesday ..... Bath and Stonehenge. Just the two of us again and we went to Bath and then to Stonehenge like any tourist would.

Stonehenge, my first visit again ... after 10 years in England. Never thought much of it except a bunch of stones. Upon close observation and the help of audio guide, this bunch of stones are just amazing. It also has a very calming effect on people visiting the site as I felt so peaceful despite the rushing about for the past few days. Adrinna took her time taking in the experience of the place.

It was great to go visiting around and I also joined the English Heritage membership after visiting Stonehenge. It would be good for us as a family to have this membership as we have a guidebook to tell us where to go. We will make a conscious effort to see England with this membership. Over 400 historical sites to see and what more, if we don't use the membership as its intended, we supported a good cause. We need the organisation to preserve the historical sites for our future generations. Not many country can boast that they have few thousand years of history.

On this note, I am glad I chose England as my home. The beauty of the country can only be appreciated if you stop your hectic life for just a day or so to see it.

With this ring .....

Here's another short video of our ceremony. It took me almost two hours to upload a four minutes video onto youtube.